Here’s What Happened When My Kids Had to Share a Room

The first time I ever had to share a room with anyone was when I moved into my freshman college dorm. I was the oldest of three children, but since I was the only girl of the bunch, I always managed to avoid room sharing. My brothers shared their bedroom out of necessity at first, but when we moved to a house with plenty of bedrooms for everyone, they still chose to share a room. This decision always baffled me. I highly valued my independence and vowed that my children would always have their own rooms.

Then we found out baby number three was on its way to our three-bedroom home.

Our first two children, a boy and a girl, have always had their own space. I got to live my Pinterest mom dreams and decorate a boy room and a girl room to my heart’s content. I let them express their individuality by choosing their own colors and themes, even when it meant painting my daughter’s room bubble gum pink. They are fairly close in age and spend a lot of time together, so it felt really important to me that they have their own space to retreat to at night.

Because my son has been a terrible sleeper from birth, separate rooms felt like an absolute necessity. I couldn’t fathom dealing with his sleep issues with my daughter in the room. There were so many nights that I watched my daughter sleeping peacefully while my son wailed, and I thanked God they had separate rooms.

So when I discovered I was pregnant with baby number three, my absolute first thought was how my kids were going to have to share a room. And I cried. I mourned their loss of independence and individuality, which I had so valued as a child. I was scared for how my three-year-old son, who still wasn’t sleeping through the night, would now disrupt my daughter’s sleep right as she was starting kindergarten.

HOW would I manage nights with a newborn and two other children all awake?

With no choice but to forge ahead, we rearranged rooms. My daughter had the larger space, so it made sense to move my son into her room. We bought twin beds and set them up on opposite sides of the room. We used a small cube organizer to divide the room into his and her half. We let the kids pick out new bedding — anything they wanted — to help them feel excited about their new shared room. And then we attempted the first night.

I woke up the next morning very confused. Why was I still in my bed with no little person beside me? Why was I so rested? HOLY SMOKES. My son had slept through the night! He was still in his bed snoozing away. When he did finally wake up, he happily bounced out of bed looking for his sister. My daughter had similar sentiments. She said it was nice to wake up with somebody there.

A few months have now passed since we first moved the kids into the same room. Miraculously, my son has continued to sleep through the night. The only explanation I have is that he is comforted by his sister’s presence. Is that what he needed all along? Who knows, but it’s what he needs right now. 

They play very well in their room together. Sometimes they play with the same toys, but usually they play side-by-side with their own toys. I think they enjoy each other’s presence even if they’re not playing the same thing. They have recently let me know that they wake up early and watch the sunrise together before coming out of the room. Many mornings, my husband and I can hear them talking quietly to each other.

A few things that I think have helped the room sharing go smoothly:

• We still use sound machines to muffle noise.
• The small divide in their room serves as a physical barrier so they feel like they have their own space.
• They keep their toys in separate color-coded cubes for further division of possessions.
• We lay out clothes the night before so my kindergartner can quietly get ready in the morning on the rare occasion her brother is still sleeping.
• We say goodnight to each of them separately with songs, prayers, and whatever personal preference they each have.

If you find yourself in a situation where your kids have to share a room, let this be your encouragement that it can be really wonderful! I dare say, we might be enjoying this more than when they were in separate rooms. For the moment, neither of them want their own room again, but this time, I’m feeling a little less baffled about that. They are teaching me that sometimes companionship is better than independence.