We’re almost at the end of the school year, which means summer is right around the corner. There was a time when summer meant bubbles in the backyard, sidewalk chalk masterpieces, and collapsing into bed by 8pm after a long day of snacks and splash pads.
Then, your kids turned into tweens and teens.
Now summer looks a little more like this: late-night snacking at 11:42pm, a vampire-like sleep schedule, and arguments about Wi-Fi speed because someone’s YouTube video is buffering. Again.
If you’re feeling like summer with big kids is a whole new beast, you’re not wrong. But it can be manageable, and even fun, if you go in with a game plan and a good sense of humor.
Here are some tips to help you survive (and maybe even enjoy) the months ahead:
Create a Flexible, But Clear Routine
The beauty of summer is the slower pace, but the absence of all structure can quickly turn into chaos. Trust me, when your 12-year-old is still in pajamas at 3pm eating shredded cheese out of the bag, you start to rethink your life choices.
Try setting a loose daily routine that includes the following:
- Wake-up time must be before noon, ideally.
- Chores still exist. Make sure your kids know they have to clean up after themselves.
- Set screen time boundaries unless you want them to develop a deep emotional bond with their gaming headset.
- Eat dinner together as a family. It’s nice to occasionally see their faces not illuminated by a screen.
Give Them Autonomy…With Limits
Tweens and teens want freedom, but they also need (and secretly want) guidance. Let them plan some of their own days and encourage independence. Let them make their own lunches, even if it’s instant ramen 80% of the time.
Set expectations clearly, as teens are experts at making big plans with no ride and no money. A weekly family check-in can work wonders to keep everyone on the same page about who’s going where, when, and with whom. Before you know it, they’ll be driving themselves around. Don’t rush it. These days may feel chaotic, but they’re short-lived. Embrace the ride, even if you’re the one always giving it.
And make space for boredom. If I had a dollar for every time I heard “I’m bored” in the summer, I could afford the overpriced drinks they always want at Starbucks. But here’s the thing: boredom isn’t bad. It’s the gateway to creativity.
Resist the urge to be their cruise director 24/7. Pro tip: when they complain about boredom, suggest they help you with something like organizing the pantry or washing the car. They’ll find something else to do very quickly.
Make Time for One-on-One Moments
They may act like they’re too cool for you, but they still crave connection. Find small ways to spend time with them individually:
- A late-night ice cream run.
- A quick Target trip (let’s be honest, this could be for you too).
- Sitting together on the patio or at a café.
- A movie night — their pick.
You don’t need to have a magical summer mapped out with color-coded calendars and daily enrichment activities. It’s okay to work. It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to let them play PlayStation while you sit on the porch with your third iced coffee and contemplate your life choices.
You’re not failing. You’re parenting tweens and teens in the summertime. Summer with big kids is different, but it’s not bad. In fact, it can be really good — full of hilarious conversations, impromptu adventures, and surprisingly sweet moments. Just remember: you don’t have to be the perfect summer mom. You just have to show up, love them through their eye rolls, and keep the snack cabinet moderately stocked.
 with your big kiddos!){kind=link}