Advice I Wish I Could Give My Younger Self

Today is my birthday. I LOVE BIRTHDAYS! (Not just my own. I love celebrating other people more than myself.) While I love a good themed party, I think my love for them is rooted in the traditions that birthdays bring: well-wishes from people you love, your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant, and blowing out the candles on your cake after making a wish. I have fond memories of birthdays past where I was told to close my eyes, make a wish, and blow out my candles. I remember when my wishes were for things like a pony or a convertible. Even though I never told anyone my wish (because that was the rule!), I still never got the pony or the convertible. *Insert eyeroll and sigh*

Instead of wishing for a clean house or a robot that does the laundry AND puts it away, this year I want to reflect on the advice I wish I could give to my younger self:

1. Prioritize time with your girlfriends. Don’t turn them down to hang out with a boy who may or may not be in your life next week/month/year. You will regret it.
2. Don’t sleep in your makeup! I don’t care what time you get home – wash your face.
3. Start a skincare routine in your early 20s. Your late-30s self will thank you.
4. Move your body. That metabolism won’t be your BFF forever.
5. It’s ok to ask for help. If things aren’t “fine,” don’t say they are.
6. Make your health a priority.
7. Don’t be afraid to try new things with new people. Learn to play an instrument. Sign up for a pottery class. Join a book club. Take up golf.
8. Take the trip. Save up for an experience instead of extra “stuff.” The stuff goes out of style eventually, but experiences will give you life-long memories.
9. STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.
10. Take time for yourself. Self-care isn’t selfish.
11. You will have your heart broken. Remember how it feels because you will break hearts too.
12. You’re allowed to say “no” without giving a reason or explanation.
13. “Clear is kind.” Communicate your boundaries and expectations. No one can read your mind.
14. Things will get hard. Don’t give up.
15. Tell the truth. Losing someone’s trust hurts more than it does to be honest in the first place.
16. Social media can be used for good, but it can also be your worst enemy.
17. It is not your job to make other people happy.
18. Don’t settle. Hate your major? Change it. Boyfriend mean to you? Dump him. Job not bringing you joy? Find a new one.
19. Don’t spend your free time scrolling. Read a book instead.
20. Things won’t go as planned. You’ll be told “no.” You’ll have to wait. You’ll watch others get the things you want. You’ll be left off the invite list. But…it turns out so much better than you imagined it would.

While I can’t go back and tell younger-me these things, I can take my own advice now. Tonight, there will be a cake with my name on it. My family will sing “Happy Birthday” while I reflect on the past year. Before I blow out the candles, I will close my eyes and make a wish.

I don’t plan on wishing for a pony this year, but I also can’t tell you what I’m wishing for because then it wouldn’t come true, would it?