This past weekend was magical for my children, especially my youngest. She’s the perfect age of three, where the world is beginning to come alive, and she’s beginning to grasp the beauty in holidays and celebrations. One of her favorite events was the Easter egg hunt. We actually attended two, both put on by friends for children in multiple families. If you’ve ever hosted an egg hunt, you know how much work that can be, and while I’ve never done one for anything larger than my four kids, I was a little wowed by the time and effort these two families put into this activity.
It left me thinking: why don’t I do things like this? I could be a fun mom. The answer quickly followed. I’m too tired. I’m the tired mom.
This isn’t meant to be a vent session where I tell you how mentally and emotionally taxing it is to be a mom of four. The truth is, whether you have four kids or one, we all have different challenges that, at one point or another, make us a tired mom.
Here’s the thing: tired is not a bad thing.
If my child were to come to me and tell me they were tired, you can guess what I would do. I’d give them a hug and kiss and send them off to bed. They’re not any less precious or important to me because they’re tired. I wouldn’t say they’re a “bad child” for being tired. They just need rest, and this is their body’s way of telling them that. It’s the same with all of us.
You are not a bad mom because you are tired. You just need rest.
Because tired comes in many different ways and from multiple different sources, the kind of rest that you need is also going to vary. Some days, it’s really as simple as taking a nap or going to bed early. Others, you may need to chat with someone who understands. Maybe nature is healing, and you can find rest by taking your kids on a hike. It could be penning out your thoughts or calling your mom. I knew a stay-at-home mom that decided she would have one “day off” per week. On that day, she didn’t clean anything in the house. She planned to have dinner delivered. That was her day to take the kids to a park or read a book, whatever it was that she needed that week to feel rested.
We don’t all have to be the fun mom.
I’m sure you’ve already heard multiple speeches about how we all have different talents, and we’re not all meant to be the same. Good. Then you know where I’m going with this. If you’re not the fun mom, then don’t be. You have different strengths to contribute to your family and your community of moms. I’m not fun, but aside from being the tired mom, I’m the thinking mom and cultivate my kids’ curiosity. I’m the one who will find a nasty bug (I would scream if it touched me) and call out to my kids to come see it. We’ll talk about the shape and color and how it walks or flies. I’m the mom who fosters independence, and if that means that my three-year-old walks around with her shirt on backwards all day, so be it. I’m the obnoxious mom on the sidelines of every game, cheering on not only my son, but all of the other boys on the field.
The point is that, while I’m not the fun mom, there are those in my community as well. They will host the Easter egg hunt, and in turn, I will cheer for their son as well. I will point out the different stripes on the flower we just walked by, as much for my children as for hers. With our different strengths, we can all contribute and help one another. I don’t need to be fun; I just need to be me, tired and all. 
Don’t forget that what you think and what others see are two different things.
I have a sister in Idaho who is the positive mom. She’s the person I talk to when I need to feel better about myself. She always has a good word to say and some insight about how things will all work out and be okay.
Ironically enough, she often tells me how fun I am as a mom. I took my kids to the park: fun mom. Let my daughter plant a flower with me: fun mom. From her view, all of the things that seem like mundane tasks in my life, are what make me fun to her. We see life through our different lenses, which lets her see what I miss.
