Almost four years ago, we moved into our house. We had dreams, a Pinterest board full of ideas, and a list of updates that would have made a wonderful episode of “Fixer Upper.” We had just finished six years’ worth of projects on our first home and couldn’t wait to pour all that time, energy, and elbow grease into our new adventure. We love a good home improvement project. I usually have the vision and my husband does most of the execution, so it works out. Except sometimes it doesn’t. Inspiration boards don’t include expensive and time-consuming home maintenance tasks, and they don’t include the realities of life with a busy young family.
So, as much as I love a DIY project, I have accepted that for right now, in this season of life, home projects just aren’t going to happen. And I’m OK with it. Here are a few reasons I’m saying, “no” for now:
1. I’m saying “yes” to other things.
This is a season for ballet class and sports practices, bike riding and family hikes, Lego masterpieces, play-dough sculptures, princess dresses, impromptu dance parties, school volunteering, friendship building, birthday celebrating, and kids who are growing too quickly. And I haven’t even listed the day-to-day duties of running a household, raising a family, and trying to keep everyone healthy. Because I am saying “yes” to those things, I have to say “no” to some good things. That means home improvement projects don’t make the cut.
2. I don’t want to be driven by comparison.
If comparison is the thief of joy, home comparison is the thief of contentment. Sometimes when I start looking for project inspiration, I end up comparing my home to other homes, and then I feel like my efforts are inadequate and my home isn’t as nice as it “should” be. Even the finished projects don’t feel good enough. I don’t want to miss out on happiness in the place that should bring comfort. So, I’m taking a break to enjoy the good things about my home.
3. One project is never just one project.
When we start a DIY project around here, it turns into several projects. It’s like the home improvement version of, “If you Give a Mouse a Cookie.” If you give a mom a paintbrush, she will probably need throw pillows to go with it. Before you know it, the entire house is half painted and it’s demo day in the kitchen. Maybe this only happens to me, but I can’t start one project without a chain reaction that leads to tearing up my entire house in an unrealistic attempt to do all the projects at once. It doesn’t take long for complete chaos to ensue. Let’s be honest — there is enough chaos when there aren’t any projects going on. I don’t need to make it worse.
4. I want to enjoy the process.
One weekend when we had some friends over for supper, I was worried about all of our unfinished projects. I made a joke, which bordered on an apology, about all the work we still planned to do. Our friends gave some encouraging advice: “Just enjoy the process and don’t stress about it. You have time.” I am so appreciative of their perspective. I am thankful for my home, and I want to enjoy it. Even if some of the rooms are more “before” than “after,” it is fine to have a work in progress. It’s still good enough for cookouts, sleepovers, movie nights, and play dates. The walls are filled with love and laughter even if they aren’t covered with shiplap.
5. I want to focus on what is already done.
It’s so easy to focus on what isn’t done instead of appreciating what is already completed. When I change my perspective, I realize we have already accomplished some of the things on our list. My husband built a mudroom that I absolutely love. We painted the deck and added new railing caps. We removed wallpaper borders and painted bedrooms. We even did a quick bathroom makeover with new fixtures and paint. And I have enjoyed decorating around some of our homes “flaws,” including the kitchen tile in a color I wouldn’t have chosen. Most importantly, we have tried to make our home a place where people feel welcomed and loved. It’s OK to take a minute and be thankful without rushing to the next thing on the list.
Even though I’m not doing them right now, I still enjoy DIY projects. I will keep daydreaming and adding ideas to my list. In fact, I hope to have some fun things to share in the not-too-distant future. But I will no longer feel pressure to get everything finished right now. Projects will always be there, but my kids won’t. And every parent is already busy with DIY anyway — we are raising children — and we are doing it ourselves...
What better DIY project could there be?
Loved reading this! Wisdom and insight. Parenting-“The days are long but the years are short.”
By the time you had your house “perfect” all the home interior fashions would likely have changed anyway. 🙂
So true! Thank you!
A wonderful post and so true. Enjoy the kids because they do grow up so fast and the memories you make are for a life time.
Love your perspective, Leah!