To my dear, sweet Baby Boy:
I can’t believe you’re turning two! It seems like just yesterday your Dad and I brought you home from the hospital. The past two years have flown by with a speed that can only happen when you’re having fun. And we have LOTS of fun. You constantly keep your Dad and me laughing. You crack us up in that way that every parent knows — those adorable and hilarious things you do that make us chuckle with wonder and amazement and pure amusement.
During your first year, I was mostly just in awe of you.
I couldn’t believe you were mine. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get to be your Mommy. But we’ve really gotten to know each other over this past year as you’ve grown into your own little person. And I am still constantly amazed by you. I love watching you learn and explore. I am so intrigued by the things you say and do, the way you see the world. It makes me see everything with fresh eyes, and that is such a gift. I can’t count the times you’ve simultaneously made my heart practically explode with love and also made me want to bawl like a baby. Because I know this phase — the precious fleeting time with you as my baby — will be gone in a flash.
The past two years with you have brought me so much joy and contentment.
I’ve grown into a purpose that I never knew before I was a mother. You’ve taught me to stop striving for tomorrow and be present today. And I’ve learned to slow down because I don’t want to miss one second of the precious little time I have with you. I want to soak it all in, even the hard parts. Because, amidst the everyday routine, when I least expect it, you will look at me and say “I love you, Mama” or you’ll cuddle with me on the couch during your favorite cartoon or “cheers” me with your sippy cup at dinner. And I want to be paying attention for those moments. I want to be present for them and remember them forever.
You’ve shown me the true meaning of happiness and fulfillment.
You’ve helped me reach a place where life just flows, the good and the bad, and I don’t have any need to analyze or search for happiness, or strive for anything. All I have to do is tend to what is right in front of me: to love you well and be present with you for every fleeting moment we have together. You’ve taught me that my most important and meaningful job in this life is to embrace each moment, to step up to what each moment is asking of me with courage and grace and my full attention.
I want you to know, my sweet baby boy, that I think of you constantly.
I check on you throughout the night, I wonder how you’re doing at daycare during the day while I’m at work. I fret over whether you’re eating enough nutritious food, getting enough social interaction, enough learning time and time outside to roam and play. I dream about your future, and I pray that you have a wonderful childhood, and grow into a smart, kind, and generous man. And most of all, I hope you always know how much you are loved.
Thank you for teaching me so much in these two years we’ve had together. I hope that I can model and teach these same things to you as you grow into a boy and a man and you find your way in this life. You are the sweetest, silliest boy I know and it has been one of the greatest joys of my life to watch you learn and grow. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you!