Fourteen years ago I said goodbye to my teeny tiny hometown. As a freshly graduated 18-year-old, I packed my car and drove to a new city in a new state for college. I said my goodbyes to everything I knew. When I stepped foot on that gorgeous college campus I knew no one. It was freedom. It was possibility. It was my present and future.
I stayed in contact with close friends for a while. Trips back home. Phone conversations that went on for hours. AIM messages here and there. But, there came a day when they stopped. We hung up for the last time. I walked out of your parent’s house for the last time. I logged out of AIM and never logged back in.
Time is a tricky beast.
As a kid time seems to crawl at a snail’s pace, yet as an adult all of sudden years pass without a second glance. Close childhood friends are getting married, having babies, starting new jobs and I only get to see what you put on social media. You are living your life, I am living mine. Hundreds of miles separate us, a stark contrast to the one mile between your childhood home and mine. The hours we spent meticulously planning our outfits, talking about all the latest gossip, and the sleepovers with all the secrets are just a distant memory.
You were my closest, most dear friend. You knew everything about me and I knew everything about you. Today, sadly, we are not more than what feels to be acquaintances. It feels odd commenting on your social media posts because I don’t know the person you are today. I don’t know your daily struggles or your personal victories. I don’t know what your kid’s middle name is and I wouldn’t recognize your husband in public.
We have come a long way from the little girls we used to be. The summers we spent on our bikes and on the ball field have turned into full-time jobs and getting breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack orders barked at us by tiny little people we have created. There was a time when we used to be the little girls who thought boys had cooties, who giggled for hours on end, and who declared we weren’t best friends for some silly reason only to be best friends again the next day at school. There was a time that all we needed was each other.
As I watch my little girls grow up, I hope they find a friend like I had. A friend who is there through struggles, heartbreak and victories. A friend who knows exactly what they are thinking without saying one word. A friend who becomes more like a sister than just friend.
And I hope they never let that friend get away.
