What About You?

Dear Mom,

It’s Christmastime.  And while I know you love it, while I know you love shopping for your kids, getting the best deals, putting up the Christmas tree, decorating the living room (or the entire freaking house… and yard… and garage… and car), baking cookies, making delicious holiday meals, creating beautiful traditions for your family, making cupcakes and treat bags for class parties, going to all of your kids’ holiday parties, seeing all of your family… while I know you love it, I also know that Christmas can be one of the most stressful times of the year… for Mom.

Because (similar to most days of the year, but on an incredibly heightened level) Christmas is never about you.  It’s always about your kids or your husband or your family or your friends or your coworkers or your kids’ teachers.  You give and give and give because it’s just what moms do.  It’s how we are wired.  And at Christmastime, that giving spirit goes into overdrive.  And sometimes blows a fuse.

So right now.  Right here.  I am giving you permission.

I’m giving you permission to treat YOURSELF well this Christmas.  That doesn’t mean you won’t go and take care of all the other needs out there.  But it means you can also take care of you.

Bless yourself while you are blessing others.

Treat yourself to a coffee while you’re shopping.  And don’t grab it and run… take it and sip it slowly.  Share it with a friend.   Smile.  Breathe deeply and remember who you are.

When you catch that great deal and get that bonus coupon, resist using it for another gift.  Use it on something special for yourself.  A manicure.  A new pair of mittens.  Those boots you’ve been eying that your husband has NO idea how to buy.

Buy the pumpkin pie from a local bakery instead of squeezing in the time to make it yourself.  Create time and space in your December for you, knowing that it’s the presence of family that is most important-not the hours you spent shooing your kids out of the kitchen.

Take that free class at the gym you’ve been thinking about.  Even if it’s just once.  Wear your yoga pants.  Breathe deeply.  Laugh with other women.  Feel beautiful.

Send the kids to Grandma’s (or the neighbor’s) and go spend some quality time with the man who made you a mommy.  The one you used to cuddle on the couch with in front of a three-foot Christmas tree in your one-bedroom apartment.  The one you used to dream with before stomping feet, spilled hot chocolate, tearful paper cuts, and mountains of trash invaded your holiday.

Don’t worry.  You will still do enough.  You will still bless others.  You will still create beautiful memories for the people around you.  Because you’re Mom.  That’s just what you do.

But this Christmas, I give you permission to take care of yourself.  To make some special moments just for you.

Because they need the real you more than they need anything else.