I AM OFFICIALLY OLD.
I’m not talking, ooh I can drink old. I’m talking life insurance, wills, trusts, face cream, Botox, lip injections, college girls calling you ma’am old. Ya know…I never thought I would make it this far. Seriously. At ten-years-old, I was sure that I would die by like twenty-two, and I would never get old and hit the age tharet my mom was at the time. She always seemed so miserable.
Well guess what? She was probably miserable because Ibuprofen became the new PEZ candy. Or maybe because she was trying to navigate finding herself and raising a family at the same time. I’M RIGHT THERE WITH YA MA!
So, here’s the story of my getting older and what I’ve learned in less than a week of being THE DIRTY THIRTY.
I feel different. I was expecting this life changing state would wash over me and I would become a new woman. YEP. Biggest thing that I have noticed? I don’t give a flying flip anymore about what people think of me. And for a former people-pleaser level 8…that’s a good thing. I’m able to live my life and make decisions based on what I want, not based on what I want others to say about me. As if that wasn’t life changing enough…
I made the decision to receive elective work on my face. I figured, if I’m thirty, why not? It’s preventative! So I got Botox and I love my frozen forehead. Then got my lips done too. And I’ve never felt more like a Greek Goddess. And you know what? It did nothing but make me more confident, especially because I didn’t care one bit about whether others like it or not.
I’m happier in my singleness, happier in the little moments, and even better at parenting because I only care about what makes my little girl and me move forward in life, in the best of ways. I care about what ensures she has the greatest life possible. And it’s weird because a few small actions during the shift from my twenties to thirties changed this. Though I have to admit, I wouldn’t have been to connect these dots and understood them without my therapist. #ShadeTreeTherapy.
A state of “adult” is slowly washing over me.
Remember how our moms at thirty just seemed to KNOW what TO DO? I’m starting to get little inklings of that. I’m hoping I finish up by thirty-three. Here’s to hoping! But truly, I feel like the things I always wish I would have known, are actually starting to come to fruition and happen! Like all the knowledge of the world just instantly dropped down upon me!
Most of all, I wish I could write a letter to myself…the sweet 18-year-old with no idea where to go and what to do with her life. These five days have shown me so much about what I was missing, and what WAS missing so that I could bring it to the table.