The Wins And Woes Of A Type-B Mom

The first thing that gives away my Type-B persona is the fact that I have three kids, ages three and under. Let’s be honest, no Type-A mom would allow for such lax family planning. But I’m here for the chaos! 

As a stay-at-home mom, I’m responsible for creating routine and structure for our family, and as a Type-B individual, this can be a daunting task. It’s not in my nature to be organized or regimented with my things or my schedule. I tend to complete important tasks at the last possible moment, which drives my husband crazy, and puts us in sticky situations like rush-ordering a new passport before a big trip (true story: I let mine expire, but the new one did arrive on time).

There’s a lot on my mind, OK? 

Sometimes my Type-B nature leaves me feeling inadequate, as if I’m not a good enough wife or mother because I struggle with some of the “administrative” components of life. I’m often tired because I don’t sleep train my babies and feed on demand for the first six to nine months of their lives. I compare myself to my Type-A leaning friends, and wonder how they seem to keep it all together, all with a clean car, pristine matching outfits on their children, a phone that’s always charged, and a pep in their step akin to the energizer bunny. I often consult these friends for advice on things like strategies for discipline, meal planning tips, and how to eventually implement sleep routines. I value their strengths and genuinely appreciate their examples. 

In reflecting on my personal shortcomings, I have also come to embrace the wins of being a Type-B mom.

My kids have a lot of fun! Every day is an adventure filled with spontaneous outings, library visits, play dates, zoo trips, nature walks, neighborhood strolls, art projects, sports, endless books, baking, dress-up and make-believe. I’m relaxed enough to let a bit of a beautiful mystery unfold each day, like a gift to be opened and not like a task to be completed. I think I will grow to appreciate this aspect of my personality as I look back on these early years with my kids. 

Furthermore, I don’t feel overwhelmed by the logistics of taking my three very little kids out and about…they go everywhere with me! I keep diapers, wipes, and snacks in the trunk so I don’t have to overthink packing a bag when we want to get out of the house. At home, my kids have a lot of freedom to play and explore, because I tend to be more go with the flow, as opposed to rigid. I don’t mind if they jump on the couch in the playroom, bring kitchen utensils in the bath, or go swimming in the mud puddle in our backyard. Of course I enforce household rules and uphold boundaries, I’m just a little more lenient with certain things. It’s not that I’m better or worse than a Type-A mom; we just have different styles of operating, as people and parents, and that’s totally OK!

If you are Type-B like me, you might have a knack for knocking out creative projects on a whim, like planting flowers on a random Tuesday evening or painting your entire upstairs on a  low-key weekend. It might take you three weeks to respond to a single text message, but you have no problem inviting every mom-friend you know to a gathering you dreamed up in 30 seconds and organized in three minutes. There’s no need for overanalyzing details, it’s about the people and the fun!

While it can be whimsical and magical to go with the flow, it can also be stressful. There is something to be said about order and routine. On some level, we all crave some structure, and kids especially thrive when life is somewhat predictable. Personally, I’m making an effort to work towards being a bit more organized and structured, despite my Type-B nature, because I simply think it’s good for my family. One thing I know and believe is that we can all improve and change and grow. So for me, blending the best of both worlds (some Type-B, some Type-A) is what I’m striving to do.

Here are some strategies that have helped me work towards my goals in this area:

1. Respect nap-time: Nap-time gives our day structure and gives me a second to breathe. My two-year-old still naps for roughly three hours every day. We have some flexibility to work with when it comes to timing, but we always uphold nap-time, unless we have a special event. I also offer my three-year-old a nap every day, but sometimes it doesn’t happen. If not, she does quiet time in her room; she can build blocks, color, look at books, or listen to her Yoto player. It’s non-negotiable. Training your toddler to do quiet time is life changing! 

2. Keep a white-board calendar: This hangs in my kitchen and I update it every Sunday before the week with my husband’s travel for work, and any obligations the kids and I have. Some might be more tech-savvy, but I like seeing our schedule hand-written. 

3. Use Walmart+ delivery: This service is worth every penny to our family and I’ve been mostly happy with product selection and quality of produce. It has helped me be more organized with meal planning and makes grocery shopping less overwhelming. I save our most-used items so they can easily be reordered each week and I can quickly search items in the app if I am looking for something specific. And best of all, I can do a mid-week order if we are low on food, without the hassle of loading up three kids to go to the store.

4. Do miscellaneous tasks as soon as possible: This is a new rule I have implemented for myself (post passport debacle). For example, if a bill comes in the mail, pay it immediately. Don’t push it to later. Or if we are invited to a wedding, RSVP and send a gift upon opening the invitation. No waiting until the last minute for things like this. I keep a running list of miscellaneous “to-do” items in my notes app and check them off when complete. 

• Pack for outings the night before: This is the oldest trick in the book, but it works wonders. Instead of running around in the morning like a crazy person, pack things the night before. Your future self will thank you. I always did this as a kid, and especially as an elite athlete, but I fell out of this habit at some point and I’m bringing it back! 

• Tidy the kitchen and living area every night: There is honestly nothing worse than starting the day with a messy living space. It makes me feel like I’m going to be swallowed by the day before it even begins. Walking into a clean kitchen to drink a cup of coffee in the morning sets the right tone to my day. There are other parts of the house I let go (like the playroom), but I try to keep them out of sight, out of mind.

5. Identify your role: Though I consider myself the project manager of our day-to-day family life, there are some things I don’t have the brain space for. I delegate a handful of household tasks to my husband and he takes on the mental load for those specific things. For example, he’s in charge of all things to do with our cars, our yard, and general household maintenance. It works for us and gives me the space to worry about all of the unseen things like making sure my kids’ shoes fit them, planning celebrations for life-events, or keeping a family photo album. 

These are just a few ways I’m working on adding some organization to my Type-B approach to motherhood. Whether you are Type-B, Type-A, or something else, embrace who you are. Know your strengths and give yourself credit for all the things you do well. No one way is better than the other, but we can all learn from each other and grow, so that we can thrive in, and enjoy the journey of motherhood!