In the 1950s, a group of cardiologists were studying a possible correlation between behavior and heart disease. What they came up with is our commonly known type A and B personalities. In a general sense, type A personalities are goal-driven, organized, and timely. Type B personalities tend to be much more relaxed, adaptable, and less stressed. Then there’s those somewhere in between; let’s call them type C.
Doesn’t that sound like the ideal? Type C moms would be organized and on time to events, but also find time to stop at the gas station on the way to the big game because wouldn’t it be fun to get ice cream right now!? She’d be the mom who’s got it all together while still managing to be chill about the load she carries.
My reality of being a type C mom is much more manic/depressive.
Life is not a faucet where I get to turn on a bit of the hot and cold, and manage to find that perfect warm (except on very rare days). When I refer to myself as a type C mom, that doesn’t mean that I’ve found a beautiful balance. In fact, most days it means that I’m flipping between hot and cold, trying to maintain some semblance of peace on my constant pendulum.
It looks like me taking my kids to Dollywood one day only to have it rain down on us and realizing how bad my idea to take refuge under that tree was. Instead of fretting, we made our way, sopping wet, to the car, having the time of our lives and jumping through puddles along the way. In my type B moments, I can be a really fun mom. But then type A kicks in, and I spend the next two hours scouring our kitchen floor with a tiny hand sponge because suddenly I’ve become a perfectionist and can’t stomach the idea of a tiny speck of dirt left on my floor. Then for the next two days, I’m constantly inspecting my newly cleaned floor to ensure it stays perfect. That example is a little extreme. I’ve honestly never washed my floor with a small sponge, but you get the idea.
Some days, I envy those who gravitate to one or the other.
In some ways, my life feels like trying to balance seemingly opposite sides of my personality and failing at both. The moments I am stressed over staying organized, maintaining my clean house, and making it to events on time, I wonder where that relaxed, fun mom went. And when I’m more relaxed and adaptable, suddenly, I look up from our project covering the table only to realize that it’s also covering the counters and floor, and will take ages to clean.
I also get to enjoy both sides.
I am the fun mom–maybe not all day, maybe not every day, but I am the mom that will put off laundry or dishes without an ounce of guilt because it’s parent’s night at basketball practice and I’ve been dying to play against my boys. I will stop in the middle of the trail to point out a grasshopper to my four year old and giggle with her as she tries to catch it with no remorse for the fact that we ran out of time and never made it to the end of the trail.
I also get my fair share of being organized. I may not have done laundry for the past two weeks (because the weather has been beautiful and we needed to be outside), but you’d better believe that when I do it, you’ll have clothes at least for the next two. I get to be organized and have our calendar to make sure that my children get to every practice, every game, and every school activity. They don’t miss out on things.
