When I made the decision to have a hysterectomy, it wasn’t one I took lightly. It came after conversations with my doctor, careful consideration, and a clear understanding of the physical recovery that would follow. I knew surgery would require rest. I realized healing would take time.
What I didn’t fully understand was how much else would change once the surgery part was over.
I was prepared for the surgery. I was prepared for physical healing. What I wasn’t prepared for was how quickly everything else would shift, how suddenly my body, my emotions, and my sense of normal would feel different. And all of it was unfolding in December, during the holidays, when life doesn’t pause but instead speeds up.
Menopause didn’t creep in quietly. It showed up all at once. And suddenly, healing felt far more complicated than I had imagined.
Physically, my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to do – healing – even as everything else felt out of sync. But emotionally, I felt unsteady, like I was adjusting to a version of myself I didn’t recognize yet. Some days I felt fine, even hopeful. Other days, I felt overwhelmed by emotions I couldn’t always explain or control.
In the middle of it all, I realized something important: Physical healing has a timeline. Hormonal healing doesn’t.
No one warned me that recovery wouldn’t be linear. That I could feel “better” one day and completely undone the next. That I could feel grateful for relief after surgery while simultaneously grieving parts of myself I hadn’t realized I was saying goodbye to.
Now, a month post-op, there are a few things I wish I had known before stepping into surgical menopause:
- I wish I had known that menopause can be emotional before it’s physical. That mood shifts, unexpected tears, and a lingering sense of feeling “off” aren’t signs of weakness, but signs of adjustment.
- I wish I had known that grief and relief can exist at the same time. That you can feel thankful for answers and healing while still mourning what your body has been through.
- I wish I had known that needing more rest doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. It means your body is doing something big and important.
- And I wish I had known how isolating menopause can feel when it isn’t talked about openly, especially when it arrives suddenly, not gradually.
We talk a lot about pregnancy and postpartum. We prepare women for those seasons with books, classes, and endless conversations. But menopause? Too often it’s whispered about, minimized, or treated like something women should just quietly “push through.” The truth is, menopause deserves the same honesty, preparation, and compassion as the other stages of a woman’s life that receive more attention.
Whether it comes slowly with time or arrives overnight because of surgery, it changes you. And with change, even necessary change, takes time to process.
Talking about menopause doesn’t make us dramatic. It makes us informed. It makes us connected. And it creates space for women to feel less alone when they’re navigating a season they never saw coming. If you’re in this place – recovering, adjusting, wondering why you don’t quite feel like yourself yet – please hear this: you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re not behind.
