May has become as busy a month as December, often earning it the nickname Maycember. The month is full of field trips, the end of sports seasons, dance competitions and recitals, art shows, award days, field days, career days, sports tryouts, summer preparations, graduations, teacher appreciation, birthday parties, banquets, and more.
As I talk to my mom friends, everyone seems to be barely keeping their head above water. Rushing from one thing to the next. Coordinating how to get everywhere they need to be. Trying to show up and be present with each child.
It can be a truly exhausting time. If you’re feeling that way, I’m here to say you are not alone. You’ve made it halfway through the month and you can do this!
We are in this together, so here are some things I’m trying to remember to finish out this month:
Stay Connected
In the busyness of the month, it can feel like we are just running from one thing to another. We are all tired and, most likely, a little cranky. It can feel like there isn’t any space to find true moments of connection between shuffling kids into the car or racing to make bedtime. But what I’ve found is that we are all seeking those moments when we are connected, when we are reminded that life isn’t just about the doing and the accomplishing, but rather it’s about enjoying.
The other night as we were preparing for a late bedtime after an activity, my son asked me if we could play a card game. I wanted to respond that of course we could not play a game, we were already an hour late for bed. But what I saw in his face was a desire to just have a moment together, so I said yes. The game took about 10 minutes, which at that point wasn’t making us significantly later, and I gained more cooperation and regulation from him. It reminded me that we are meant to enjoy each other and it is important to create that space – even for just a few minutes – in the midst of the busy.
Let Go of Expectations
During busy times, I still want everything to stay the way it usually is: same bedtime, same dinner routine, same afternoon schedule. Holding this expectation leads to a lot of undue stress. I’ve been trying to remind myself that during this season it is ok to readjust my expectations.
Chick-fil-A dinner for the third time this week? That’s ok!
Late for bedtime again? Take a deep breath, set a new expectation, and move forward.
The kids having major restraint collapse after school? It’s ok; just allow them the space for this to happen.
In fact, I’ve started planning for some of these things. Instead of trying to figure out how to cook dinner or have leftovers each night, I’ve decided that I will cook when the day allows for it without major stress. But I also plan times when I know we are going to pick up food or eat peanut butter and jelly while moving from one thing to another. This has allowed me to let go of the guilt and let me feel less stressed.
If we have an event until 7pm and bedtime is usually 7:30pm, I remind myself we aren’t going to make that bedtime. I mentally set a new goal and approach bedtime with more calmness and less rushing.
Be Patient
Everyone in my family is feeling the hustle of the season. So much of it is fun and exciting, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. I’m trying to be more patient with my kids, understanding their emotions are sitting right under the surface and might bubble over from the smallest thing. I’m trying to remember to affirm the feeling and offer even more support and presence.
I’m trying to be patient with myself, too. Sometimes, as moms, I think we expect ourselves to handle it all with attention, grace, and flawlessness. But the reality is that we might miss something, or get frustrated when we wish we hadn’t, or be exhausted and grouchy. I’m reminding myself that it is ok and also finding ways to reset myself. A quiet moment in the car before pick up. A walk in the sunshine. My favorite drink from Starbucks.
