Do your kids get in the way of your plans? Are your kids an inconvenience? Of course not, though we may feel this way sometimes. We know we love our children and that we would do anything for them, so why do we feel this way? We simply forget. We can get so caught up in everyday life occurrences and be so focused on marking things off our to-do list that, when our kids disrupt a task or focus, we forget that we need to be responding and focusing on them instead.
This is a reminder in case you are someone who needs to hear it: your children are not a burden; they are a blessing!
There’s nothing to be ashamed of in having to be reminded of this. We are human. I know that if I needed this reminder, there are others who need it as well. I have been struggling with parenting burnout as a stay-at-home mom. I have noticed that I have been complaining a lot more. It seems like I have taken all of the “mom breaks” in the world and I still don’t feel refreshed and recharged. I’m sure this parenting burnout feeling stemmed from the first year of the pandemic when I was at home with my kids 24/7 for a whole year and has just grown into this ugly funk I have been in lately.
When my oldest started kindergarten in August, I was so happy that I had a kid in school and I thought that it would free up more time for me even though I still had a three-year-old at home. But instead, I was feeling smothered, covered, and chunked. I wish I was talking about a trip to the Waffle House and eating yummy hash browns, but no, it was my three-year-old. Since she had lost her playmate and best friend, I was the replacement. Always clinging to my leg, wanting to sit in my lap, and never leaving me alone long enough to let me do something or complete a task. After months of that, every little inconvenience started to become frustrating. The frustration turned to stress which led my mindset and attitude to change. It seemed like I was constantly shooing my kids away. Before I knew it, my speech and actions started to reflect my frustration about every little inconvenience they may have caused or always having to be with them.
How awful would it be if my kids overheard me complaining about them? Being inconvenienced any day is worth more than having the risk of my child having a childhood from which they might have to emotionally recover.
When I’m in the midst of my pity parties, I stop and look at who I am talking about. MY CHILDREN. I chose to have them. They are the most precious gift from God. I am privileged to have been chosen to raise them. I feel we struggle and become frustrated because what we think we’re supposed to be doing (chores, work, etc.) has been interrupted. So, if you have been constantly with your kids or your super fun plans get canceled because you don’t have a sitter or it’s another unplanned snow day or yet another kid is sick and you have to stay home or it’s the ultimate meltdown that makes you late, it’s easy to sometimes get upset with your kids for the inconvenience. Sacrifices come with having children. This stage won’t last forever.
Catch your words. Be more selfless and loving. Strive for more flexibility. Try to find joy in the moments. Remind yourself that your children are not a burden, but rather a blessing. No one will love you like your sweet child. Love them always, in all ways.
