Nobody makes me feel seen or normalizes all the crap my body, life and marriage have gone through since having kids quite like the brilliant comedic minds at Scary Mommy. I recently saw an Instagram post from them on anti-resolutions, which, to paraphrase, are things you resolve to STOP caring about in the new year, rather than adding more goals to your already overflowing plate.
I am all for self-improvement.
If it brings you joy to make a goal of reading a certain number of books this year or losing so many pounds or going to the gym X number of days, then grab your flair pens and go to town in that bullet journal. But if you’re in one of those barely-keeping-your-head-above-water seasons of motherhood and can’t even think of one hobby you have, let alone come up with a measurable goal based on it, maybe a list of anti-resolutions is more your speed.
If you need some help getting started, here are a few of the ones I’ve come up with for my own life. *Disclaimer: you’re about to get an eyeful of just how crazy and anxiety-ridden I can be.
1. I won’t worry if my kids don’t have fruit for every meal. If the blueberries have all gone furry and the only fruit left are bananas that make my kids theatrically wretch at the breakfast table, I won’t feel like I need to make an extra trip to the grocery store just to get enough fruit to make it through the week.
2, I won’t feel guilty about comparing the amount of learning-directed play I engaged in with my first child versus my second and third. I will accept that I am doing my best.
3. I won’t care if my husband doesn’t complete a task the same way I would. I will try to be grateful for anything that I don’t have to accomplish myself and let my expectations slide a bit in the interest of sanity and matrimonial bliss.
4. I won’t feel bad accepting help that is offered. A wise friend once mentioned that supporting others when he could, was a blessing in his life and that by refusing offers of help, I was robbing him of his blessing. I will say yes to letting my mom watch my kids when she offers without feeling like I might be imposing on her day and remind myself that she is being blessed by time with her grandbabies.
So there are four of my anti-resolutions for 2020. They aren’t necessarily quantifiable or measurable, but they feel…doable. They feel safe and healthy and like self-love. And what better goal is there for a new year and new decade than that?
