What’s the best thing about social media? Connecting with old friends? Nah. Lurking on pages of old enemies? Golly, who would do such a thing!? Broadening our points of view by thoughtfully discussing opposing political views? BAHAHAHAhAhaHahAhaha… You guys know what we all want to see on the internet: pictures! Because humans are very visually stimulated and we like to Kondo our News Feed to highlight beautiful things that spark joy in our eyes and hearts.
While scrolling to the bottom of my Facebook memories gets pretty cringe-worthy (let’s all have a moment of silence for 2006 Mary Beth: may we never see her again), for the last 11 years it’s been pretty easy for me to dominate my friends’ feed with that good stuff — baby pictures. In this decade+, I’ve had four really good-looking children, if I do say so myself, and they’re a social media dream because they say and do the most absurd things that make for really hilarious posts that generate a lot of likes.
In fact, there are lots of parents out there capitalizing on kid cuteness to get likes and, in some cases, generate income. Just look at the Holderness Family, who turned their goofy family videos into a lucrative full-time gig when they became YouTube stars-turned-social media sensations. And to be sure, there’s nothing wrong with posting about your children (that’s literally what this whole site is about), and if you just so happen to be a social media influencer, your kids are part of your life, so understandably they’re going to make it into your content. (Just remember Laura’s important tip for what not to post.)
But can we all just admit that there’s some pressure on parents to have a “cute” family?
If you’ve been on social media and/or had friends with kids long enough, you’ll start to notice an interesting trend in their posts: they start with millions of newborn pics, because really, who can choose just one version of the same photo with ever-so-slightly different gassy smiles? (They’re all uniquely adorable!) Then we move to discussions of diaper drama, sleep deprivation, milestone humblebragging, and first little toddles. The toddler years involve funny mispronunciations, so.much.energy, trying not to crush baby chicks in Easter pictures, and the adorable absurdity of three-year-olds playing soccer, as if they have any semblance of an idea what is going on. Eventually, the cute posts taper off. Once you get past the first day of kindergarten sob-fest, everything kind of slows down in terms of entertaining the masses. Why?
Because motherhood isn’t always cute anymore.
Not that motherhood was ever cute all the time — good Lord, most of it is anything but cute — but our daily tasks just become a little more…mundane. If you think about it, you probably remember doing this kind of everyday stuff during your own childhood, so it’s not all that interesting for a Facebook post. With older kids, we’re spending afternoons helping make a list of “-at” words for their homework, eating a snack before soccer practice (where they really do know what’s going on), breaking up sibling fights, and lecturing about the importance of deodorant. It’s all the joyful, stressful, beautiful little mess of parenting that it always has been, but things change. And on the outside that looks different.
The truth is, most nights I sleep for at least seven hours straight, and if it’s less than that it’s my own fault for staying up binge-watching on Hulu. All my children dress themselves, bathe themselves, and use the bathroom by themselves. Heck, even *I* use the bathroom by myself! But motherhood is still every bit exhausting, stressful, hilarious, funny, and beautiful as ever.
It’s just not always cute.
