Being a Mom has never, in all of history, been for the faint of heart. Centuries ago, becoming a Mother meant risking death to produce children that were considered their father’s property. More recently, becoming a Mother commonly means being judged for every choice we make, while also expected to be as flawless as a 20-year-old without children. Being a Mom is arguably the hardest job in the world. Every one of us Moms knows the long hours we put in physically and the even longer hours we put in mentally to raise our children. The upside is that more and more frequently, Moms are getting praise and acknowledgement for the impossible job that we’ve been doing forever, really. And yes, we deserve it.
Gosh, do we deserve it!
But I’d also like to acknowledge the men in a Mom’s life who rarely get praise. Some of these men start helping a Mom long before having her own kids is even a sparkle in her eye, and some are the much-needed support when she is waist-deep in motherhood.
Here’s to the Dads who spoil their daughters.
My Dad is the most amazing man. He was the Dad with four daughters (and half our friends) trailing him through the hardware store. He was the Dad who was often asked if “4 daughters was all he had” by other men. And every time, even when he thought we weren’t listening, he would say “I had a daughter first and a son second, and then decided more daughters would be fun.” I am 100% sure my Dad is equally happy he has a son. But he was never going to let anyone devalue his girls either, and that’s the part that has always stuck with me. Of course, after a great childhood with him, he was the model that I used when choosing a father for my kids.
Here’s to the older Brothers/Cousins/Friends who protect their sisters.
It seems archaic to say a girl gets protected by her brother or cousin, but the truth is that there ARE still bullies out there and they DO still prey on girls in schools and on buses and anywhere else they think they can get away with it. These neanderthal-type bullies will always respond to a show of force, and nothing says “watch out” to a bully better than a little girl with an older brother or cousin (and his group of friends that will also come to her aid). Having an older brother army at her back will always make a girl feel like she can conquer anything a school day throws at her.
Here’s to the Coaches/Teachers/Leaders who shape a confident athlete, students, etc.
We’ve come so far in how girls are perceived, but that doesn’t mean that every adult male is a safe space for little girls, either. This makes me even more thankful for the men who coach (or otherwise lead) young girls and build them up. You know family members can tell a girl how special she is and it doesn’t sink in fully as it should. But, oh, when a coach or a teacher tells her how amazing she is, it carries such weight! These caring and truly good men are such a blessing in a Mom’s life. We needed them as we were growing into our own people and our daughters need them now too. I can’t express how we won the jackpot with the various male coaches that my daughter has had in her life. These men have built my daughter into a confident, athletic young woman.
Here’s to the Friend Boys and the Boyfriends who let us see the future.
The boys that surround us and show us what is desirable in a friend and/or partner (and what is not) is good practice for choosing a friend group and husband some day. And sometimes these relationships help girls see that they want to remain single or that boys are not their choice for a partner, which is no less helpful. Later in life, our male friends are also important because they will talk about charcoal and lawn care with our husbands so we don’t have to, and are also our safe space to get a male point of view when our husbands screw up — ha ha!
Here’s to the Uncles and Grandpas who have all the fun.
Growing up with an extended family is the most amazing feeling. Big family parties are just about the most fun way to celebrate special events. Usually, it’s the moms, aunts, and grandmas who keep everyone fed, which leaves the dads, uncles, and grandpas to entertain the kids and have the fun! I’m a little bitter about this one from a Mom’s perspective (because I hate cooking the meals), but in the long run, it makes happy kids and that’s what matters most.
Last, but certainly not least, here’s to the husbands who love us Moms and make the best Dads.
Through all the no-sleep years of babies and toddlers, diapers and tantrums, my husband has been my rock. He has been a true partner in every sense of the word and I can’t imagine raising kids without him by my side. We are now navigating the teen years, and although it still feels scary at times, I know come what may, he’s going to be there. Our kids simply adore him and he puts so much effort into meeting them where they need him most. Being a Mom is HARD. But having a husband who loves us and actually helps with the kids is priceless!
So here’s to the Men that are often overlooked when praise is handed out for raising kids. We Moms are definitely still doing the most work to raise our babies, but there are so many men who also give us a hand. And I’m happy to have such fine examples on my list of helpers.
