We have all been there.
Whether you do your grocery shopping on your lunch break, on a mad dash between work and dinner time, or while trying to wrangle all your cranky/bored/energetic/overtired/whatever kids on the cart so you can make it home in time for naps, there seems to be a universal understanding among moms that grocery shopping can be stressful. And the one thing that can take even the most successful shopping trip and make it feel like a disaster is when you get stuck in the slowest.checkout.lane.ever.
When you’re stuck in that dreaded lane, trying to distract yourself from the growing frustration of how long this is taking, glancing over racks of tabloids and chewing gum at all the other lines moving faster than yours, you start to stare down that person at the front: what on earth could be taking so long?! you think. You start counting items… you glare at the cashier… then you realize the hold up: this mom is paying with WIC. UGH.
In case you’re not familiar, WIC stands for Women, Infants and Children. This government program provides nutritional assistance to low-income pregnant or nursing moms and children under age 5 by providing certain items for free, such as milk, bread, cheese, eggs, cereal, and beans. If you have ever been a grocery cashier, used WIC, or been stuck behind someone using WIC, you know it is ridiculously time consuming to check out. And regardless of who you are in the situation, it is ridiculously frustrating for everyone.
I have been that person behind a WIC customer, annoyed and tapping my feet, huffing and glaring, wishing “those people” would just get it together or let me and my 6 items go ahead of them or use a designated lane so us paying customers could move through at a reasonable pace. Believe me, I know the frustration.
Then I became a WIC mom.
The circumstances don’t really matter, and no one should ever have to justify themselves in a public forum like the internet, but here I am, a pregnant, stay-at-home mom to 3 kids who depends on WIC every month. It is what it is; it is not a situation I really celebrate, but I am very thankful to live in a country where this is an option for my family. It doesn’t come anywhere close to covering all of our groceries (nor is it supposed to), but it is a big help with a family and income the size of ours.
I am telling you this, anticipating plenty of hate in the comments (tip for bloggers: never read the comments), because I have one simple request for anyone who will listen: please be kind.
Any WIC moms out there will be laughing in solidarity as they read this, but for those of you who don’t know, let me tell you what it’s like. First of all, WIC is a blessing when you need it, but every time I go to pick up my vouchers, my husband and I debate if we really need it. The typical WIC recertification visit takes 3-4 hours. No more than 20-30 minutes of that time is spent actually meeting with a nurse or nutritionist. Being a stay-at-home mom, I usually have my kids in tow, which is a challenge in and of itself, but working moms have to take (probably unpaid) time off to make that appointment. Considering my local health department has the WIC office conveniently located directly across the hall from the Communicable Diseases office, it’s not exactly a trip I look forward to.
Then there’s shopping for WIC. This is no easy task, especially for a beginner to the program. Because WIC is a nutritional assistance program, the items one can purchase are very, very specific. As in, this one particular brand and type and size of item. For instance, the sandwich bread I usually get at Wal-Mart is not carried at Food City, so if I happen to go to a different store, I have to pull out my “list” and stand there in the bread aisle looking for which particular brand-and-type-and-size item that particular store carries.
At last we come to checking out. This is the part that matters to you, oh friend in line behind me. Trust me when I say there is no one more frustrated at the time spent in line than I am. Now that I have been on the program for a while, I know to place the items on the belt in the order they are listed on the voucher, lest the cashier get confused and waste time searching for whatever is next.
Of course the highly specific list of accepted foods is constantly changing, but the stores get this information long before it is passed on to the participant. So I don’t know my usual brand of tortillas has been removed until I go to check out and the machine rejects it. Now I could stand there and wait for the manager to come over and argue with me about whether or not said item should be overridden. (The official WIC policy is that items that are on the approved list in my hand can be overridden even when the machine rejects them, but good luck telling that to any store employee.) However, it is much more efficient to just leave the line and go back to the tortilla aisle and try to find another approved brand-and-type-and-size. This process makes me look like an idiot even though the store is the one breaking “policy” and like a jerk for making you wait even though I promise it’s faster for me to just run back and get what I need. When I finally have all the correct items, signing and running the voucher takes longer than using a personal check, so you’ll have to wait on that too. I know, it’s a pain.
Even with the ridiculous office visits, frustrating shopping experience, and difficult process of checking out, by far the worst part of being on WIC is facing you, my friend, the person in line behind me. Whether you’re being inconspicuous or passive aggressive, I see you checking your watch every 60 seconds and huffing your breath every time the cashier questions one of my items. I see you walking back and forth to nearby checkout lanes, considering whether it is worth it for you to reload all your items back in your cart and move to another line.
I see you glaring at me while I try to explain things to yet another misunderstanding cashier while simultaneously failing to prevent my kids from destroying the light-up keychains and candy bars in the checkout aisle. I feel the cashier’s frustration and the manager’s annoyance when she gets called over to deal with my “problem.”
And you know what? It already sucks that I need to endure this situation to afford my groceries this month. The judgment from literally everyone around me in the store is not changing my circumstances; it only makes me feel 2 inches tall.
You know what else I notice when I’m checking out my WIC items? Kindness. The woman behind me who makes small talk and tells me how beautiful my children are. The man who makes funny faces at the kids to entertain them, because they certainly hate this waiting too. The cashier who laughs and tells me how different things were when she was on WIC a few years ago and you could only get dry beans instead of cans. The other family with kids who stands patiently behind me and smiles when I apologize for the wait. Your kindness may not change my circumstances either, but it certainly makes this world a better place to live.
My friend, I know how frustrating it is to be stuck in a slow line at the grocery store. I know how it feels to bring milk into the office break room because I didn’t have time to run home after the store on my lunch break. I know how difficult it is to distract my fussy baby while the person in front of me has issues with their own checkout. But I also know how it feels to be on the other end of the line, and I know no one feels worse about the situation than the one causing the hold up. Next time you’re stuck in line behind a WIC mom (or someone whose credit card won’t run or that customer counting out pennies to pay with exact change), think of how you would feel standing in their shoes. And remember that Golden Rule you’re teaching your kids? Treat others the way you would want to be treated in that situation: with grace.
Have you found yourself frustrated in the slow line? Or have you been the one holding everyone up? How do you handle when you’re in that situation?
[…] don’t make us feel good about ourselves. Well, today I’m dropping my pride on the Knoxville Moms Blog. Why? I want you to hear my story, and hopefully that will encourage someone to think of me and be […]
This is a great article & written with truth & authenticity! I’ve been in your exact shoes.. Pastor husband, trying to keep up with formula needs for our second set of twins was about to put us under. I finally made a WIC appt. I always felt the exact same way, Like I had to explain my situation ( to total strangers I might add!)
If I ever see you in line, I’m gonna give you a big hug! Well done, Mama!
Thank you, Bethany! I will hug you right back! 😉
So appreciate your openness and honesty! Being a WIC mom myself, I know the looks, the frustrations, and the absolute joy of finding just the right items (still haven’t figured out the orange juice though). This is one more reason that, on the rare chance I get to go to the store by myself, I go out of my way to encourage moms I see with kids. We all desperately need it!
Thanks, Janie! I never get the orange juice for that reason. Ha!
Insightful article. Have you ever thought about getting a part time job ? Maybe when your husband is home,. I have been a working mom with kids and would have loved to stay home. That was not financially possible, so I returned to work. I found that as a better solution to be dependent on tax payers dollars.
Great article and so true to how it feels being on both sides. Some people are so judgemental of other people when they have no idea what they are talking about. You do what you have to to take care of YOUR family and thsts all there is to it. have been on both sides of the fence as a working mom and stay at home mom, a mom on wic and a mom not on wic. I had no choice to go back to work and miss being a stay at home mom. Let me tell you that i work full time now and am still on wic because I am a single mother now. Some situations working part time as someone suggested would be pointless. Child care costs are not cheap these days. So keep your head up and ignore negative people who feel the need to belittle others they know nothing about.
Thanks for the solidarity, Katie! 😉
Maybe there are other circumstances in her life that you don’t know about. Perhaps this isn’t your judgement call to make, and you ought to keep your judgements to yourself.
Keep your chin up, mama. It won’t always be like this.
Thanks, Leslie! I’m looking forward to that day. 🙂
How rude is your “nice” suggestion. Of course anyone in this situation has “thought of getting a part time job” No one in this situation wants to “depend on taxpayer dollars”. My husband was working fulltime and taking classes online to finish his degree when we ended up needing assistance. A part time job wasn’t an option. For others it could be a health issue for the parent, a health issue for a child, a tragic event. Stop being so judgey. No one wants to go through this.
Thanks for your support, Cathleen. It’s not an option for us either, which is why I’m so thankful the WIC program exists!
You do realize that to qualify for WIC you have to be a nursing mom or a child under 5, right? So to be able to go back to work a mom would have to pay an insane amount of money to put her multiple children in day care. What entry level job would pay enough to make money and pay the ridiculous child care fees? Or what job would pay a mom retiring to the work force a decent wage?
Keep your judgmental comments to yourself.
Thanks, Chris! I couldn’t afford childcare when I was working full-time with 2 kids, so now that I have 4 it’s pretty much out of the question. The high cost of childcare is one of the primary challenges keeping moms out of the workforce and/or in poverty. Something to think about when we’re talking economic stimulus policies… 😉
Haha, great response! I completely agree and was thinking the SAME THING! I enjoyed your blog. Thank you for your transparency.
I have been a WIC mom, married to a guy in the air force, and worked part time at night while my husband was home, Oh, I also did in home child care, sometimes you still need help. Get over yourself, you are not helpful, just a troll looking to cause trouble. Why do people like you feel the need to give unsolicited advice and make some feel like crap? Do us all a favor and keep it to yourself next time.
Thanks for your support, Sandra, and for your family’s military service! I honor the sacrifice both you and your husband have made. <3
Great article! I was on WIC while pregnant with both of my children. I received WIC for my first child until the age of two. It was just too much of a hassle for me. There were too many appointments, the health department is full of germs, and my first born would go crazy when they weighed her and poked her finger. It wasn’t worth it to me. And for those reasons I didn’t get WIC for my second born. I don’t miss all of the craziness in the store. That’s a great idea to put items on the belt in order, never thought about that. I don’t think that we should look down on people who have WIC. I don’t know about your county, but in mine it’s not just for low income households. I know plenty of families where husband and wife work and they are still eligible. And as far as the ladies comment about you getting a part time job, if your anything like me, you decided to stay home so you could be involved in your children’s lives. So many parents aren’t anymore and that’s why we have kids going into schools and shooting people. And as far as tax dollars are concerned I’m pretty sure your husband is a tax paying citizen. So when you whip out those vouchers at the store, don’t be ashamed, your family deserves them, your not a bunch of low lifes laying around at home to sorry to work, depending on the government for your every need. God bless
Thanks, Tasha. 😉
“So many parents aren’t anymore and that’s why we have kids going into schools and shooting people.”
Did you seriously just imply that working moms are breeding killers by not staying at home with their babies?
wow! Talk about judgmental. I work full time and all three of my children are fabulous. If you’re suggesting that my children will turn out to be some kind of psycho simply because I work, then you are a misinformed, uneducated person.
I have never taken public assistance, but I also would never judge someone else for taking assistance no matter their situation.
I have been in line behind women at the grocery store on public assistance and I’ve always offered a smile. But I’m usually friendly anyway.
Just because a mother stays home with her children doesn’t mean she’s actually teaching them anything. I’m teaching my daughter that she can be anything she chooses in this life.
Wow. I guess I have to quit my job now so my daughter won’t commit a mass murder later in life. I’ll start writing my letter of resignation right now, then sign up for WIC, and hope everyone else (who must of course be terrible serial-killer-raising parents) can cover my expenses. Thanks for the helpful advice.
I’m gonna go ahead and say I’m pretty sure she’s not saying that parents who work are raising serial killers. What I read is that she wanted to ‘be involved in her children’s life’. And she seemed to be referring to parents who are not involved in their children’s lives. That’s true. Kids who are left to raise themselves will not do a very good job. You can work and still be involved in their lives but sometimes, for some people, finding work and home life balance may not be possible so you are forced to choose between raising your kids and paying your bills.
As moms, lets stop trying to find things to get mad about. Seriously.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been on both ends: working as a Customer Service Manager at a grocery store for many years, (I’m 30 now), and having two beautiful daughters who both had WIC. Of course, I suppose due to my previous line of work, I could quickly explain to a cashier exactly how to conduct the transaction. But it varies store by store, state by state. I have worked at grocery stores Bi-lo and Bloom in South Carolina, North Carolina, and Georgia. (I was offered a position here in Tennessee at Food City, but declined.)
I worked as a Customer Service Clerk at Bi-lo at the age of 17. I distinctly remember when a cashier called Code 10, which meant WIC. I would quickly sign, and think let’s get this over with. I immediately had to stop what I was doing, which was running the front end of the grocery store, and go and do this tedious task. I would have to take over, and follow a strict guideline of how it has to be done, including signing my own name. In the position of opening bookkeeper, yes, we have to credit all the WICs. They are also sent to a special place, filed in a specific way, and do take time. However, this is a government program, so everything has to be accounted for accurately.
However, when I had my first daughter 9 years ago, I worked at the grocery store, so it wasn’t too much of a strain. Because I knew exactly what needed to happen. However, with those who choose not to breastfeed, (and yes, I am one of them), the price of formula is not affordable with someone who is low on income. I remember my WIC vouchers usually totaled $137.00 for 15 formulas. With someone with low income, this is not affordable in any way. And it only lasts half a month. Shorter if you have a very hungry baby!
Yes, I willingly admit it can be a lengthy process. A manager’s approval is needed, because this is a government program. (And all stores and states vary in this procedure.) But I admit when I used it, it was well worth it. Even when I remembered thinking it was such a nuisance when I was 17 having to do WIC transactions, I realized that’s it’s ok once I had my own children. I do admit I personally did it typically late at night, while my children were sleeping, because it is a process. There’s no simple way to change it. This is a regulated government program, which I am very thankful for, but to provide accuracy, this process must be done. I compare it to getting your driver’s license renewed. It’s a pain, but it has to happen.
So I want people to understand that formula, as well as everything else, can be quite expensive. The fact that we provide this in our country to our children, who could be our Presidents, historians, astronauts, and world leaders is a small price to pay. And if you can’t sit there and simply enjoy your time in life, try self check out. 🙂 I promise I’ve never seen a self check out too full, and it’s not that hard to use. 🙂
Of course, my policy is life is too short, and I’m never in a rush, (and yes, I’m a mother of two precious girls and a full time college student along with many other things), nothing is ever too much of a rush. That’s why I take my time. Just enjoy life. 🙂
And while all may be disheartened by the WIC transactions, just remember, we’re all alive right now. There’s something to cherish in your life at every moment. 🙂
Bravo! Everyone should have to read this post. WIC is so needed–I’m so glad we have a way for families to get healthy foods for free. I’m just sorry it has to be so difficult. I had absolutely no idea what a bureaucratic process WIC is! Kudos to you for taking the time to explain it in such a public forum. Even as someone who is a supporter of WIC for whoever needs it, I’ll think of all you said the next time I’m in line at the grocery and a transaction is taking a long time.
I think a lot of people don’t understand how needed these kinds of government programs are, and how difficult they often are to administer. While I’ve never been on WIC, I’ve been on unemployment before. Similarly, a lot of people wanted to criticize, even though my unemployment check didn’t even begin to help us cover our basic bills when we were living at the time in one of the most expensive cities in the US, and required constant check-ins and meetings to maintain it. Nevertheless, we were so thankful as we wouldn’t have been able to make ends meet without it.
My grandmother always told me, you never can truly walk in someone else’s shoes and you have no idea what someone may be going through, so you should always, always be kind. Thanks for the reminder of her sage life advice!
Thank you! Your grandmother sounds like a very wise woman! 😉
I want to tell you how this story has just touched me in more ways than you know! I was on WIC for awhile but as you mentioned, I was getting frustrated with it, All the changes and all the looks in the grocery store. My husband and I had finally gotten caught up financially about 6 months ago so I decided it was time to get off of WIC. Well, just within the last few weeks, we had to stay in the hospital with my son who has kidney disease and have ended up with more doctors appointment than expected. We live 2 1/2 hours away from Children’s hospital and our doctors so all of our extra money that we had was used on food and extras for our hospital stay and gas for all the doctors appointments. We hit a financial rut again. I hated to admit that I had no choice but to join WIC again. I was embarrassed! I had my appointment today and immediately went to the store! I came home and your blog was in my Facebook news feed. It is something I am still struggling with as far as embarrassment but I am so thankful to have read your blog and know that there are other moms who know how I feel! Thank you!!!
What great timing! I’m so sorry about your son and his recent illness. WIC is nothing to be ashamed of – it is only temporary! Don’t let the haters get you down. Be proud knowing you are doing what’s best for your kids and your family. Mean people suck. 😉
Beautifully written! I was fortunate enough to be able to go back to work part time and take my son with me when my toddler was born, which kept us off WIC, but with #2 on the way and a very high risk pregnancy (for myriad reasons I won’t get into), I’m now staying home and I’m pretty sure we will be eligible. People suggesting that you just work part-time when your husband is home don’t necessarily have a realistic grasp on your situation. In our case, that would be impossible as my husband is a public school art teacher and coach and often puts in 12-14 hour days at school, I can’t rely on him to be able to be home in time from tennis matches for me to get to work on time. In the current political climate we live in, where art positions are being cut left right and enter, coaching 2 sports is what keeps his job relavent and safe… How can I ask him to give up his job security for me to pull in maybe $10-11 an hour if I’m lucky working part-time?
Thank you for sharing this, it’s a huge insight to a mom contemplating how to navigate the system and if we can swing it without it, and it’s a good reminder to EVERYONE to be kind!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, Josie! My 4th pregnancy has been high-risk, and it’s no walk in the park. You are right about the work situation – it’s just not possible for some folks, myself included. I expected folks to be critical, but it’s worth it to encourage the other moms in this boat with me!
I literally almost cried reading this article because of how much I relate to it. I am that WIC mom who has to deal with cashiers annoyed with you, or announce over the speaker that there is a WIC problem in their lane. I even had a woman tell the person behind me they probably should find a new line because this was going to take forever!! (I called that manager at that store because they have a good reputation of being some of the kindest workers with WIC/Food stamps.) and he was furious. At my local grocery store I have only had ONE kind worker, one who didn’t change their tone when they found out I had WIC items. I made sure to mention it to him so he knows exactly what it means to me. BUT sadly nobody else there seems to respect you. I have friends that have stopped using it altogether because of how humiliating it was. These are people who need it….full time college parents, working on their doctorate! Thank you for writing what all of us feel but might be too embarrassed to say. Also, I find that if you do find a good store/worker to point it out, and spread the word. Most managers want a good reputation.
I’m so glad this was meaningful to you! The circumstances can be made SO much worse or better depending on the cashier or manager you get. I usually do my shopping at the same store on the same days at the same time, so I have learned the cashiers’ schedules and who I want to go to. I will wait in a much longer line to get a good cashier rather than take my chances with someone I know will be a pain. I should comment on their excellent service to the managers or corporate! Thanks for the suggestion, I think everyone deserves to be recognized for doing their job well!