We’ve all been there; we’ve all received that “Hey girl!” message on social media from someone that is not really involved in our lives in any other way. The message that reads, “I really think you’ll LOVE this new product that just launched!” or “I’m throwing an online party. You should join! It will be TOTS fun!!” The message can seem so disingenuous and you may not feel like having a conversation with someone you haven’t talked to in weeks, months, or years about why you are not interested in this new product or why it doesn’t fit in your budget.
But I am here to tell you to give that “Hey Girl!” momma a chance!
I was recently with a group of friends that started making fun of the deluge of “Hey girl!” messages they received. I later found out that this enormous number of messages were only about two or three. It was at the beginning of the school year, and the mothers that have been busy all summer long with their children were now able to focus on sending those messages out to friends. My friends had so many funny yet cruel things to say about these “Hey girl!” messages. One very common theme was that they had very little respect for these mothers.
Little did they know, I was one of those mommas! Not at the moment, but I had devoted my time and energy to such a business when I needed it.
You see, when my second child was born, I was struggling and my postpartum depression was at an all time high. I had recently quit a career that I worked very hard for so that I could be present for my family and I felt like I was not contributing financially. I had a hard time reconciling the fact that my husband was bringing in all the income and I was just spending it. I felt bored, defeated, and alone. And then I found a direct sales business with a product that I loved! It was fun and fashionable. I could earn income for my family from home and on my own time, and it was something I could do while multitasking! (I was not able to do anything that would require my full attention for a large block of time because…you know…kids.)
This business of mine had me connected with friends. I talked to the same group of mommas every day. They cared about more than what I sold on a quarterly basis — they cared about me! They celebrated with me. They cheered me on. I reconnected with old friends, because, yes, I did message people on social media that I hadn’t talked to in a while. But I got more than just a potential customer. I was having conversations with people that I didn’t have the guts to reach out to before I had my small business and I loved it! I was no longer alone in my little house with a baby and my PPD.
It gave me purpose. I had something to do again. I’m not one who can sit idly with no plan for the day except for keeping the house clean or taking the kids to the park. I had goals and plans. I had a party to host, a new product to introduce, keep customers happy, research how to grow my business, keep my Facebook group intrigued and active. My friends and I worked together to create challenges and it was so fun!
I was contributing an income to my family. It was needed. My family was in a transition period with new careers for my husband and a growing family. Because of my direct sales job, I saved enough money to pay for all the food and hotel reservations for our vacations. I also used the money I saved for Christmas presents and birthday presents. It actually relieved some of the stress from my husband because we were able to enjoy vacations and holidays without taking a chunk out of our budget.
I really think my direct sales job might have helped saved my life.
My PPD was bad. Ultimately, it was my husband that rescued me when my depression got to a dangerous level, but having something for myself that connected me with friends and created goals for me was essential to my mental health. Without it, I may have been in a deeper hole of depression, all alone and with nothing to accomplish each day.
So instead of looking at that “Hey girl!” mother with disdain, give her a chance! She is trying to contribute to her a family in a way that she can at that moment in her life. In 2019, we need to lift ALL mommas up and let them know they are not alone in this crazed world we call motherhood. Why would we ever think we should make fun of any mother for doing what they think is best for their family? Giving a simple “No thank you” to a woman that has taken the time to try to grow her business doesn’t need to be an inconvenience for you. A “No thank you” is a way of saying “It’s not for me but I have respect for what you are trying to do.” This is so much better than making fun of somebody behind his or her back. We are better than that. Besides making fun of that mom behind her back is hurting you as well. When we laugh at a mother for doing what she can for her family, we are allowing a meanness to spread through our hearts when kindness is so needed.