My son started on a new soccer team this season. He knows one boy on the team, but the other kids are all new to him. At one of the first practices of the season, while watching my son play and interact with the other kids, I witnessed the most beautiful thing.
During the course of practice, I noticed that my son kept ending up next to this one particular boy. About halfway through practice, my son started goofing off, as he usually does with his boundless energy. He was being a little silly, and then suddenly started playing air guitar and laughing like a maniac. Many of the kids looked at him as if he was crazy; he’s always had a little more energy than most. But the boy beside him clearly approved. He laughed hysterically at my son, and then without missing a beat chimed in with his own version of air guitar. That was all the invitation my son needed and they were off, air guitaring their way through practice, until the coach noticed and I had to call them out from the sidelines to pay attention.
What struck me about this was how simple and beautiful it can be when we find a kindred spirit in life.
Aren’t we all looking for someone who acknowledges us and laughs hysterically at our jokes, then offers up one of their own? Aren’t we all looking for a friend who just gets us without even having to speak a word; someone who picks up what we put down and runs with it?
My son put something out there (his crazy air guitar move). The other boy appreciated what he’d put out and expressed his appreciation (laughed hysterically). Then the boy put something out there in return (his own version of air guitar), and my son expressed his appreciation (laughed). They were open to experiencing one another, and they were in tune with what the other had to offer. And that was all it took to begin a new friendship.
It sounds pretty simple, but maybe the recipe for friendship is just those two ingredients:
1. A willingness to put yourself out there in front of others, either initially or in response to someone else, and
2. A willingness to express appreciation when you see something that resonates with you.
After practice, I mentioned the boy, just to see what my son would say. I wanted to make sure I’d interpreted the whole encounter correctly.
Me: So, Lukas, who was that boy you were playing with during practice?
Lukas: Oh, he’s just a boy I met tonight.
Me: Oh, cool. Well, he seemed like a really nice kid. It looked like you were having fun playing with him.
Lukas: (with a huge grin) Yeah, he was really cool. I liked playing with him a lot. He’s my friend.
As an adult, I sometimes forget how easy friendships can be with the right people. I get distracted with obligations and guilt and all other sorts of things that try to make friendship confusing. But seeing the exchange between my son and his new friend reminded me how simple it really is. And it made me realize how grateful I am for the sweet friendships my kids are forming, and for my own precious crew of friends and kindred spirits that I’ve been lucky enough to find along my way in life.
