To my (almost) kindergarteners,
Every year since you and your twin sister were born, I have noted the start of each school year and been thankful it wasn’t time for us to make that transition. I would remind myself of how many years we had left with a sigh of relief and a twinge of anxiety as the time grew smaller. Now, the countdown has only months left instead of years. This is our year. Kindergarten round-up has happened, countless forms have been filled out, and the first day of school is on the calendar.
With twins, a lot of things can be twice as difficult, and this definitely falls into that category.
I could use a million clichés to describe how I feel: “The days are long, but the years are short,” “Time is such a thief,” etc., but none of them fully express how I am feeling. Like every mother, I could talk about how it feels like it was just yesterday you were tiny babies, fully dependent on me. Every part of you growing up has been both exciting and sad at the same time. And now that we have reached this huge milestone, I feel like there are a million things I am feeling.
I could go on and on about the anxiety I feel (that I hope you don’t notice).
I hope I have taught you enough both academically and socially to do well this year. I know you still have a lot to learn, and that school will help you, but I hope I have given you the tools to be successful. I hope you know how to be a good friend, how to have confidence in yourself no matter what others say, and that your dad and I love you no matter what. I hope you will be ok being away from each other and from me.
I could talk about how it seems so unfair to me.
You have become these fun, little humans with incredible senses of humor and unique perspectives on the world. I love all the things we can do together now that you’re older. I am going to miss our trips to the zoo on random Thursdays in February, morning gymnastics class, and our weekday lunch dates at Chick-fil-A. Even though we have had these years together at home, it doesn’t seem like long enough. It seems like we should have more time left.
I could talk about how proud I am.
I am so proud of the young ladies you are becoming. You have grown up so much in the past year. I see you help your baby sister or do something without me asking, and I am amazed. I feel like I see a glimmer of the future women you will become, and I gleam with pride.
I could talk about how excited I am for you.
I am excited for you to learn and experience new things and for you to see the world in new ways. I am so excited about the friends you will make and all the special school memories you will create. And even though it’s hard, I am excited to see you mature and grow more independent.
I could tell you a million things that I hope you will remember.
I hope you remember our “stranger danger” talks and how to stand up for yourself and others. I hope you remember to include everyone and to always be respectful.
I could talk about how it’s been us together every day since you’ve been born and how hard it’s going to be to not have you here with me.
I am going to miss you both so incredibly much. I guess the bottom line is that you are ready, but my mama heart just isn’t.
So, for now let’s focus on the summer ahead. Let’s have lots of lazy, slow mornings where we wear our pjs until lunchtime. Let’s spend long days at the pool, go on spontaneous picnics, ride too many rides at Dollywood, and stay outside all day long.
I can’t stop you from growing up, but I can soak up this last summer before everything changes.
