I recently had occasion to go into my insurance office and speak with my agent in person. He’s probably a little younger than my dad and has kids in their late 20s/early 30s. After we finished discussing business, the topic of conversation turned to the cute baby picture in his office. He recently became a grandfather for the first time. As moms, we often expect to bond over parenthood with other moms or grandmothers. I can tell you I certainly wasn’t expecting to have this moment with my almost-retired insurance agent, but we did! He told me a little bit about his grandson, but then he started to talk about his daughter, who is a new mom for the first time.
I was amazed at the awe in his voice when he spoke about how his daughter was doing it all!
She’s teaching full-time while juggling all the responsibilities that come with parenting today — things he doesn’t remember having to deal with 30 years ago. Sometimes, when you hear older people talk about the younger generation of parents, they don’t sound very impressed. They talk about how we do everything totally differently from what they did and if it worked for them, it could certainly work for us. And there’s a lot of truth to that, but the truth is also that they probably did it quite differently from their own parents and grandparents.
My agent shared how, when he and his wife were raising their kids, they didn’t remember all the little details that felt so crucial at the time, like feeding schedules or trying to plan around nap times. You’re just so caught up in the day-to-day that those moments blur together. He went on to say he felt like his daughter was a way better parent than he ever was and doing way more. But from the way he talked about how he and his wife worked together to raise his family, and the admiration he had for his wife and daughter, I feel like he probably should give himself more credit than he was. This is a man who has run a successful business for 30 years to support his family, and you can tell his focus was truly that: his family. And if that’s where your focus lies, and you did the best you can no matter what your generation is, you probably did all right. And I bet this man’s daughter feels the same way!
Of course, there are always exceptions—parents who are truly harmful—but for the most part, I think it’s important to remember that each generation is simply doing the best they can. Just as we are now, and as our kids and grandkids will be one day.
