My children are growing up, and now I have teenagers in my house. Having older kids has been a blast. They are more independent, and I can share my favorite shows and movies with them. They also introduce me to great new books and music. They help out around the house, and I can relax a little more because I am not having to constantly manage them.
But while there are a lot of positives, parenting teenagers brings a whole new set of challenges.
Parenting young children always came naturally to me. We did playgrounds, libraries, magic shows, play dates, and ice cream cones. We did waterparks and story time and zoos and trampoline gyms. Whatever we did, we had fun and the kids were happy. I was rocking it.
But now everything has changed. Somewhere along the way, my kids developed a strong set of likes and dislikes. And they have mood swings that make the gibbons at the zoo look like geriatric gymnasts. Now the zoo trip may be ruined by what a boy said at school last week. Or a new cute outfit may never be worn because it isn’t cool. Their cute little personalities that began to peek out at me from their cherubic faces have blossomed into passionate, obstinate, intelligent, deep, interesting characters that are half English rose and half Venus fly trap. I feel like a gardener that planted seeds of unknown provenance and is now trying to both discover what type of plant is growing, and to prune it and fertilize it so it reaches its full potential.
And everything with teens is more expensive. My three oldest are now the sizes of adults, so I’m buying adult meals and adult clothes, as well as full price tickets everywhere we go. They also have dreams of going places and doing things that always seem to cost more than they should. Sports teams, school trips, concerts, birthdays, and outings with friends drain bank accounts faster than my kids drain their milkshakes.
The transition from toddlers to teens is big. These formative teen years are a precarious time of life where they are still children but think they are all grown up.
This is the part that is difficult to navigate. It is tricky because they do have a lot more responsibility put on them in school, and they can start working, driving, and dating. Cell phones and social media are now in our children’s lives and moms have the tricky job of managing it all. They start to have more freedom over their choices, which can be terrifying. When they were younger, I was in charge of my kids’ lives. Rules and boundaries were easier to set in place, partly because it was easy to distinguish between right and wrong (hitting people is wrong). Now that they have mastered the basics, choices have become more complex. Teenagers have to walk the line between helping a friend that is struggling while surrounding themselves with friends that will lift them up. And interacting with teenagers requires unbelievable patience. This is where I know I am getting older because I do not understand their lingo fully. I can only hear “6-7” so many times a day before I crack. Then I have to try not to laugh as I tell them that they can’t tell off color jokes.
Disciplining teenagers can be a mine field. They are using their voice more to push back on boundaries. They don’t always see morality in the same way as we do, and trying to explain to teens why insulting their siblings is wrong is a new level of Inferno. But they do listen, and they do watch, and they do learn, especially if what they hear you say and what they watch you do is consistent. Teenagers can sniff out hypocrisy faster than they can smell cookies in the oven. 
At the end of the day, my teenagers still need me, and they need me more than ever. But the way they need me is different from when they were toddlers. Toddlers need constant supervision and help with everything. My teens need my wisdom and my love and my support. For example, when your kids were little and they would look back at you to make sure you are still close. That’s how my teens need me. They have more freedom to go and do more outside the home, but are always happy to come home and know that I am there. And they seem to need me the most at night when I am trying to go to sleep. They come alive when I am winding down. And that is when they decide they are ready to open up and talk to me about their day.
