To My Non-mama Friends, Thank You

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Relating to motherhood when you are not yet a mama can be difficult. Having younger siblings or nieces/nephews can give you a little glimpse into the life of motherhood, but does not near the equivalent. A few of my friends had children long before myself, and while I truly enjoyed loving on their babies, I had no idea what life would be like having my own babies. I tried to be understanding when one couldn’t come out to dinner, when one couldn’t do Sunday brunch, when one couldn’t get away for a girls’ trip, but the concept was hard to grasp at times. Now two children deep, I totally get it. I get being completely immersed in motherhood, sometimes even to a degree that is overwhelming. While motherhood is truly the greatest season of life, it can be a challenge learning how to balance friendships and family. I am very fortunate in that the girlfriends I have that have not yet had children are so very understanding and go above and beyond to be there for me, and for us as a family unit. It can certainly be tough to be so understanding without having experienced something like this for yourself so for now, I just want to say, to all of my non-mama friends, thank you.

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Thank you for not distancing yourself in fear that we no longer have everything in common. I’m still the same friend you’ve always had, just donning a new hat.

Thank you for “listening” on the other end of my chapter book worth of text messages, venting about topics you wish you had never learned about until long after committing to motherhood yourself, topics involving postpartum situations, babies and bodily fluids of all kinds, and endless embarrassing statements made by your spunky children. With that said…

Thank you for understanding we can no longer talk on the phone for hours. Our conversation these days wouldn’t make sense due to the numerous interruptions by one child’s need after another. If by chance we do get a rare instance in which we can talk on the phone, thank you for truly believing me that when I say I’m listening despite the yelling of “cannonball” in the background or fighting because someone isn’t sharing; you are not actually talking to the counter I left the phone sitting on as I ran off to save a child from flying off of something. (Speakerphone has been a lifesaver!)

Thank you for allowing us to change our favorite lunch dates to locations that are more child-friendly places. I appreciate you eating yet another Chick-fil-A sandwich to allow my children to run and yell without the accompanying dirty looks. (And you’re welcome for providing you the excuse to indulge in another of their oh-so-delicious milkshakes!)

Thank you for jumping right in and helping me wrangle my wild ones when I venture out on my own. I so appreciate you always being willing to chase after one while the other runs in the opposite direction.

Thank you for sitting next to me at the park, or the splash pad, or the pool, watching the kids play while you could otherwise be relaxing with a fruity drink on a boat in peace and quiet. It is so refreshing to be able to have adult conversation while allowing my kids to be kids.

Thank you for pushing me to take time for me and continuing to invite me for girls’ night, girls’ trips, couples’ trips, etc. despite having to usually decline for one reason or another.

Thank you for spending your Saturdays year after year celebrating another of my little one’s birthdays. They may not notice quite yet, but I sure do.

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Your friendship means the world to me, and many days it keeps my sanity. I appreciate your commitment to our friendship. Thank you for remaining such a dear friend to me, and now a friend to my entire family.

Do you have a close girlfriend or group of girlfriends that support you despite not yet being a mama themselves? Be sure to let them know how thankful you are!

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Kara
I’m Kara, wife and mom of 3. A Florida native, I relocated to Knoxville over a decade ago to pursue a master’s degree where I promptly fell in love with the endless supply of sweet tea, southern hospitality, and peach cobbler. Oh, and my husband! I’m a physician assistant by day, wife and mom by day and night. When I’m not caring for sick patients, I enjoy traveling as a family and spending time with friends at local events downtown. We had always called Knoxville home, but after returning from spending two years living abroad, our lives are forever changed. We left a piece of our hearts on an island out in the Pacific Ocean and took with us the desire to see more. If words could explain, I’d write a book, but until then, occasional blurbs and social media posts will do!

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