Any new mother will tell you that having or adopting a child changes you; science even says so. We all try to say that we’re still the same person (of course we are), but there’s no denying that there is a propensity to love and protect more fiercely. I can’t quite begin to describe all the mental and emotional ways I’ve changed since having kids. However, every now and then I catch myself in a moment where I realized the woman I was, and the mother I am are not on the same page.
I want to reflect on the more obvious ways that motherhood has changed me personally:
Career
I was never particularly crazy about the idea of having kids. I was career-oriented and I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. At 27 years of age, I had my daughter and that all changed. I’m still a much better parent as a working mother than I would have been as a stay-at-home mom, but a job title didn’t matter any more. As long as I can have a good work-life balance, I am satisfied and content.
Cleanliness
Way before kids came into the picture, and my husband and I were moving into our first apartment together, I was a bit of a slob. Like, squeeze the toothpaste from the top and leave the cap off, clothes piled high on my bed, and empty soda cans everywhere kind of gal. While I am still by no means a neat freak, I can no longer tolerate a sink full of dishes or laundry that hasn’t been put away. And the worst part is that now I find myself nagging my children over things that I used to do 10 years ago, like leaving half-empty Capri Suns everywhere.
Fears
Oh, how I long for the days when I could climb into a roller coaster without blinking an eye! I used to love thrill rides of all kinds, and now I can barely stomach Dollywood’s Scrambler without envisioning the guard rail falling off and my body catapulting across the pavement, leaving both of my kids without a mother. Don’t ask me why — it’s insane and I know it is, but it doesn’t change the fact that I (very sadly) no longer enjoy the thrill of the Firechaser.
Friendships
Before kids, friendships were life. Post kids, I want a lot of friends and no friends at the same time. I don’t actually mean that I don’t want any friends; of course I do, but sometimes I struggle with the guilt of not having more time to devote to friendships. Working full time, juggling two kids, husband, and extracurriculars — I feel like I don’t have enough time left over to focus on the friendships I want to have. I guess you could say I’m more selfish with my time than I was before I had kids, and that definitely makes me realize how much motherhood has transformed me.
Social Media
This is for all of us — stupid Timehop. There’s nothing quite as embarrassing or humbling as seeing previous social media rants, vague song lyrics, or the vulnerable immaturity of my former college years. Now 99.8% of everything I post is somehow related to my children. (I promise, I do have a life too, they just happen to be at the front and center of it.) I don’t cook so I have no gourmet food to take pretty pictures of, and we can’t afford to travel, so the only other worthwhile thing I have to offer my friends and family on the internet are silly anecdotes and adorable pictures of my offspring. Sorry, not sorry! But of all the changes, I think this is much better than my August 14, 2009 post about going to the walk-in clinic.
