I seem to have the same conversation year after year with various friends and family members:
“Where did the year go?!”
“Time keeps moving faster as I get older!”
“How is it almost [insert year]?!”
As a child, I don’t recall the transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas happening in one day. Maybe it did, but my memory holds more separation between the two. As an adult, it seems to be pumpkin –> snowman decoration switch-out with a 24-hour turnaround time, and that’s if you even wait until after Thanksgiving!
With the hustle and bustle of the season, I thought I’d step away from the sentimental and reflect on the chaos this season has become…in a comedic, embellished sort of way. But not really.
December 1 – Go to a Christmas tree farm as a family to pick out a tree. Get home to discover it is once again too big.
December 2 – Somebody gets sick. The every-other-day family stagger takes place for the next week.
December 3 – You and your spouse methodically plan out how to order stuff for each other from the same Amazon account without seeing what each other ordered.
December 4 – Question mailing out the annual printed Christmas card knowing if you go through with it, you are already running out of time.
December 5 – Forgetting to check if the lights work before spending time untangling them all.
December 6 – Oh crap. Forgot to buy that person’s gift who selfishly has a birthday during this month.
December 7 – Get asked by multiple people from multiple schools for more money for multiple events and multiple gifts on a daily basis.
December 8 – One light on your faux pre-lit Christmas tree is blinking, threatening your sanity and causing your eye to twitch.
December 9 – Completely blank on child’s orthodontist appointment because you passed out on the couch from gift shopping exhaustion.
December 10 – Ten minutes before guests start to arrive for your own Christmas party, a family member clogs the toilet.
December 11 – Open a box and ruin a surprise gift you weren’t supposed to see.
December 12 – Attend a child’s holiday program. Someone either pukes, cries, falls or forgets their lines.
December 13 – Schools start requesting special attire days for the rest of the month. Grinch day! Ugly sweater day! red/green day! Jingle bells day!
December 14 – After sitting on multiple Santa laps, worry your child will start to notice he looks different each time.
December 15 – Your sweet child lovingly tells you they love you. Then they pat your belly and remind you to stop eating so many Christmas cookies.
December 16 – Attend an office Christmas party. Drink too much. Embarrass yourself.
December 17 – Check all your bank account balances because you are certain by now they are empty.
December 18 – Your child tells Santa things they haven’t told you. And you thought you were done shopping.
December 19 – Order that last-minute gift knowing full well Amazon Prime no longer means 2-days shipping.
December 20 – Forgot to move the darn elf again.
December 21 – Christmas break starts. By 6pm, you already start losing your mind.
December 22 – Accidentally wrapping “from Santa” gifts in the same paper you used on “from you” gifts and debating whether to re-wrap the smaller group of gifts or see if the kids notice and have an explanation ready.
December 23 – Crap! Forgot about the stockings! Dollar Tree run.
December 24 – Take fake happy pictures in dress up clothes. The outtakes tell the truth.
December 25 – Get woken up by squealing kids. Spend one hour undoing everything you’ve been working on the past 24 days.
