“It’s almost time to switch from my normal everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety.”
Around this time every year, I should be feeling satisfied that I’ve completed my Christmas shopping, but instead, I’m questioning myself. I’m looking at the wide array of gifts that I’ve purchased for a variety of people, but especially my kids, and I’m thinking the pile looks a little small. Is it going to look like an awfully meager Christmas once I’ve arranged all of these packages under the tree? Don’t I remember the living room being loaded with a giant pile of presents when I was a kid? Didn’t Dudley Dursley (from Harry Potter) receive 36 presents for his birthday one year and throw a fit that it wasn’t enough? And this late-night thought spiral is enough to convince me that I’m actually not done with my Christmas shopping yet. Maybe I still need to pick up a few more items before I can place my credit card back in its holster for the season.
It always begs the question, “How do I know when I’m done?”
How do I keep myself from going on this frantic sort of anxiety-induced last-minute shopping spree every year? It makes me feel weirdly jealous of other, non-Christmas holidays in which the gifting rules are more clearly defined. There needs to be a set boundary on how many presents are enough presents.
Obviously, if you can determine some sort of Christmas gifting rule for your household when your children are very young, it will just feel like standard practice to them, the only sort of Christmas that they can remember. However, if you’re like me, and you’ve just been going based on vibes year after year, it’s never too late to begin a new tradition.
I’ve been crowdsourcing amongst my favorite group of moms to determine how they know when their Christmas shopping is finished. They had some great suggestions for traditions that I could adopt as my own:
- Gifting categories: Many moms come up with a set number of categories for the gifts they buy their children. A really popular one is to buy them “something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.” A few moms I spoke to had unique adaptations of that tradition, such as swapping out something to wear with something to do, an activity of some sort. Another mom added in something to make, perhaps some materials for an arts and crafts project. Categorizing your gifts for the holidays serves the dual purpose of winnowing down the amount of gifts you’re buying, and also coming up with a variety of things so that the entire Christmas haul isn’t all toys.
- Experiences: Some parents have opted to ditch material items altogether in lieu of experiential gifts. This could be tickets to a theme park, enrollment in a martial arts class, admission to a concert or show, etc. Giving an experience is still a gift, but it doesn’t clutter up your house with junk that gets forgotten after it’s unwrapped on Christmas morning. Also, depending on when the experience takes place, it gives the recipient something to look forward to later in the year.
- Set numbers: One mom said that the wise men brought Jesus three gifts, so her children each get three gifts as well. She designates one from her, one from their dad, and one from Santa. Another mom I spoke to keeps it really simple by just giving two gifts: one from the parents and one from Santa. Both moms said that limiting the number of gifts under the tree keeps Christmas morning centered more on family time and bonding, and less on materialism of opening presents.
- Set prices: Several moms avoided coming up with a set number of gifts and instead set a pricing limit. Each child gets the same dollar amount to keep things equal; however, that doesn’t mean they receive the same amount of presents. An older child might request an electronic device for Christmas and only get one gift, while a younger child may get a pile of inexpensive items like books and small toys. It is a good way to teach children about the concept and value of a dollar.
- Secret Santa: While this probably applies more to extended family than your immediate household, drawing names on slips of paper and choosing one single person in the family to buy for can make Christmas shopping a lot less intimidating. It’s also a great idea to get your kids involved in the gift-buying process. Providing them with opportunities to be on the gift-giver side instead of always being the gift recipient side should be an important part of the Christmas experience.
Whatever method I choose this year, all of my mom-friends reminded me of one important thing: my children will receive so many presents from family members. I think every year I forget just how much of their Christmas haul comes from people outside of our home.
