People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Or in this case, opportunities come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. New people or new opportunities are exciting. They usually teach us a lesson, for better or worse. What we experience from these people and opportunities gives us the stories of our lives.
This year has been tough. Our lives have been turned upside down with schooling from home and the doubt of every decision made.
The pandemic wasn’t the only thing to turn my world upside down. In March, I gave birth to my third child. Obviously we had nine months to prepare, but I wasn’t prepared for the feelings to come. Time goes by so quickly and it’s so evident as you watch a tiny baby grow.
This year has given me time to sit down, breathe in and reflect on the things that are most important. We have been given the gift of time over the last several months and my wish is that it wasn’t wasted.
Over the last five years, I started a business. I grew my client base, I expanded the business and my client base grew even more. I took classes to further my knowledge and skill. I invested money and so much time into it.
I loved it. Until I didn’t.
I poured myself into my business. I sought after a full schedule, mini session sellouts, and I wanted more and more and more. Last fall, I got what I wanted.
It’s funny how we seek out success. We want to be more. We want more. We want to be viewed as successful by our peers and ourselves. It’s a thrilling adventure when you are on the ride. But what happens when you arrive?
For me, I took a step back and realized I missed something. I missed stress-free days with my family. I missed being able to sit down and fully engage with them without always having a to-do list, messages and emails to respond to and endlessly updating my calendar. I missed going to bed without my computer on my lap trying to finish up work after the kids had gone to bed.
I was exhausted.
At the beginning of this year, I chose the word “live” as my word of the year. {Oh, January was a beautiful time pre-pandemic.} Nine months into 2020 and I realized I was living for other people, on other people’s timelines. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love capturing other people’s moments and memories as a photographer, but I just missed my own. After a heart to heart with my husband, he gave me this: “If it doesn’t make you happy, then don’t do it.”
Bam. It hit me right in the gut.
It wasn’t making me happy. But could I walk away? Not completely, but I have cut my bookings drastically. I am not out there chasing all the sessions this fall and I am so much happier.
Endings are often hard. Saying goodbye usually leaves us feeling sad and doubting if we should say goodbye to the person or opportunity. However, goodbyes lead us to new hellos and new opportunities. Sometimes change is just what we need to learn and grow.
I don’t know what the next big adventure will be, but right now I’m going to snuggle, play and fully engage with my people.
And still take on the occasional photo session.
