On my daily route I pass a funeral home. I often see families gathering or lines forming and I say a little prayer in my head. I recently saw something that pulled on my heart strings. A man walked out of the funeral home alone holding a large envelope. I assume that day was the day he had to arrange his wife’s funeral, his partner of so many years, children (maybe), ups and downs. What I saw made me think: the day you leave this earth or you set up arrangements for your spouse’s funeral, are you going to look back and be happy for the life you spent together or will it be filled with regret?
Be kind to your spouse before it’s too late.
You may have written your vows or said traditional vows, but ultimately they mean you will sacrifice and provide unconditional love, for better or for worse. After we brought our sweet baby into this world, it was not easy for us. We were living in two completely different worlds. I was hormonal, had postpartum depression, and we were both exhausted. We could have decided to quit at any moment, but we said “for better or for worse.” Those times were most certainly worse, but now we have better.
We didn’t just wake up one day with things back to normal.
We both worked at communication and had us time. I have since learned if I can’t love my husband, then we can’t have a happy family. Becoming a mom is such a rewarding, but difficult experience. You leave an identity behind, whether you are ready or not. You are no longer the one your parents call about, you don’t shop for the next girls’ night outfit anymore, and you can’t just take off on vacation like you used to. For the new moms who slid into their new role like butter, I applaud you! (Seriously, GO MOM!) After we developed our “parenting groove” we decided we needed to become us again. This family wouldn’t thrive without putting our marriage first. We started watching a series on Netflix after the baby went to bed, we stuck to our no phone policy at the dinner table, we stopped feeling guilty when we had us days, and we are trying (still a work in progress) to put the phones down more before bed. I don’t want to look back and regret the moments we had because we were too busy scrolling on our phones or fighting about what we were eating for dinner.
My advice for you is live every day like the next might be your spouse’s last. Is Miley and Liam’s breakup more important than your husband’s day at work? Is Taylor down the street’s child more important than yours? If you said no to those then put down your phone, let kindness pour from your soul, and love your spouse.
