Losing Yourself in Motherhood

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I always knew I wanted to be a mother.  I am sure the images and ideas I had about motherhood are the ones you see in the commercials with lullabies playing in the background.

But motherhood isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  It’s hard, stressful, and at times a job that can make you feel like a failure no matter how hard you try.

But it also can be the most rewarding and heart filling.  There are times when you think it’s impossible to love a being so completely.  That one kiss, one hug, can make a bad day melt away.

However on those days when it’s rough, you can find yourself losing small pieces of yourself.  It’s not something you notice at first.  It kind of chips at you ever so slightly.

After having my second son, I found that I lost part of myself into the throes of motherhood.

I wasn’t making time for myself.  I wasn’t reading books (a past time that I loved), I wasn’t going out with girlfriends,  and I wasn’t investing any time for any hobbies.  What even are my hobbies???  If someone asked me to make a list, I would draw a blank.

I was never someone who was super crafty, creative, or a Pinterest DIYer.  Yes I am learning to sew, yes I scrapbook, and yes I love to take photos.  But I wouldn’t say I was particularly stellar at any of these.

I love being a stay-at-home mom, but the truth is the place where I thrived and felt success was when I was a working professional. It went hand and hand with being good in school and making good grades.  As a mom, you aren’t graded or evaluated.  The go-getter in me missed that, the rush of trying hard and getting to the finish line.

Once my youngest son got a little older, I started to get these pieces back.  I started making more plans with friends and picking back up my love for reading.

I also began my journey of beginning the Knoxville Moms Blog.  In this, I have found some new great friends and the hard work my soul needs.  I love interacting with businesses and moms throughout the community, and I love being able to think outside the box and come up with new ideas.

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I’ve found my balance.  I’m not losing myself in motherhood…I’m redefining myself.  I may not be exactly who I used to be, but that’s ok.  I’ve grown and become a better version of myself.  I’m a mother, but also a wife, a friend, a business owner, and an individual.  All of these make up the new me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

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Eighteen years ago, I moved to Knoxville after graduating college and fell in love with the city that has now truly become my home. Shortly after moving here, I married my college sweetheart, and when not working we set out to travel as much as we could. After working as a financial manager for six years, I welcomed my first son Nolan in 2010 and began a journey as a stay-at-home mom. Two years later we added another baby boy, Conley, to make us a family of four. In June 2016, we welcomed our third boy, Foster. I founded Knoxville Moms in November 2013 which began my career as a work-from-home mom, and it grew to the expansion of Chattanooga Moms in March 2016. We welcomed our first girl, Lilah, in November 2017 making us a family of six and adding a little pink in our house. In June 2021, I became the co-owner of the Atlanta Mom website, and in March 2022 I became the owner of the Nashville Moms parenting website. When I’m not chasing the kids or stepping on Legos, you can find me enjoying a cup of coffee, reading a good book, and dreaming about my toes in the sand. I enjoy meeting new people and enjoy connecting the moms of Knoxville, Chattanooga, Atlanta, and Nashville.

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