It’s Halloween week, mamas, and you know what that means:
CANDY. So. Much. Candy.
I have four kids, and between trick-or-treating, school parties, church fall festivals, and community events, we usually come out of this week with more candy than we know what to do with. After a few days, all the kids’ individual stashes get combined and sorted for year-round, rationed distribution, but on the nights they collect their candy, I don’t make much effort to stop them from eating as much as they want.
Counterintuitive as it may seem, by letting my kids eat themselves sick, I’m actually working to teach them healthy eating habits. Every parent knows that kids do not self-regulate very well, and that’s why we set boundaries for them. But eventually kids have to learn this for themselves, and the only way to learn is by testing their own limits. No, I don’t want my kids to be sick. But if I’m always the one to stop them before they get to that point, will they really know how to stop themselves when the time comes for them to choose? Probably not.
I am overweight. I have been most of my life, and while I spent many years living in shame about it, I don’t anymore. I am healthy and active, I’m just not restrictive enough to be super thin, and I am super fine with that. My point is, I have had an unhealthy relationship with food my entire life. As an emotional eater, I have treated food as comfort for bad feelings, rewards for good behavior, and distraction from difficult issues. Struggling with my weight made me look at “healthy” food as punishment and “junk food” as shameful self-indulgence, and there really wasn’t a positive middle ground for me. All food was a battle.
Thankfully I have never suffered from a serious eating disorder, but I have dear friends who have. I have made it a goal in my parenting to learn from those friends and teach my kids better habits than I have had. In our house, there are not “good” and “bad” foods, but we do talk about nutrition and how certain foods are more or less beneficial for our bodies. We talk about how calories equal energy, carbs are fuel, and fat feeds our brains. And yes, we also talk about how chocolate gives us endorphins that make us feel happy! But chocolate (or ice cream or cheese fries or whatever) is not a substitute for true joy. We can eat all types of food, enjoy all types of food, and listen to our bodies when they say we have had enough.
As a matter of fact, none of my kids have ever eaten so much candy they puked. Only a handful of times did they eat enough to feel yucky. And every single time, they leave plenty of uneaten candy to go in the big stash later. If I tightly restricted their candy consumption, would they sneak into the kitchen at midnight and binge? I don’t know. I hope not. Your kids might not either. But I’m thankful that the big candy holidays can be more than just a chance to indulge, but they are also teachable moments.
