I am not a girly-girl. I never have been, never will be. Ruffles, frills, and all things pink do not make my eyes light up with glee. I’m also not a tomboy. Don’t stick me in the outdoors unless it’s under a nice umbrella at the beach. I like to think I fit somewhere nicely in between those two types.
Growing up, when all my friends and I reached middle school age and the years of trying to find your place as a girl began, I joined in with cautious excitement as we all started playing with makeup, new hairdos, and different clothes. Like many of my ’80s babies, I had a few years of garish blue mascara, bright pink cheeks, and every color nail you can name. In high school, I left behind my middle school uniforms and began branching out into my own sense of style. In short, I had none.
I’m not even kidding. I met my husband in high school, and he and a number of other people nicknamed me “Banana Pants” because I regularly wore yellow track pants to school. Mmhm. Garish yellow athletic pants that swished when I walked. Let’s just say he still teases me about buying yellow pants.
I tried to keep up with all the makeup trends, tried to find the right shade of foundation and perfect blush or bronzer for my skin tone. I visited all the right stores (here’s looking at you, Sephora!) and got employees in varying shades of overly made-up to recommend different products to try. I bought entire kits of ridiculously expensive makeup based on recommendations about what would work for my skin tone, and then I brought it all home and just stared at it.
Where on earth do I start? How do I get that perfect smoky eye everyone raves over? What’s this green stuff they sold me and where do I put it? And why are there a million and two YouTube videos out there about how to perfect your makeup?
I am 32-years-old now, and I still feel like a child when it comes to applying makeup. It’s not that it intimidates me (though some of those Sephora employees with their on-point looks are a bit scary), but it does frustrate me. Here I sit with loads of products I never use because makeup just annoys me.
So the truth comes out. I don’t like makeup.
I never have. I don’t feel like I need it to feel comfortable in my skin, and I’ve always hated having to wear it for events. I know my low maintenance self, and I know I won’t ever be that person who gets up early enough to make my face up every. Single. Day. Seriously. Hats off to you who get up and get your faces on each morning, cause I can’t do it.
In a very Marie Kondo way, I just had to admit to myself that makeup does not bring me joy. And not too long ago, I took it out of my drawer and looked at it. I’m rather ashamed to admit that I found makeup I’d had for years…like since 2010. Needless to say, I never used up any makeup and just held onto it because what’s the sense in tossing something that isn’t all used up?
When I realized 99% of my makeup was basically expired and shouldn’t be used, I had to ask myself a question. Why had I kept all this makeup for years that I never used? My husband prefers me without makeup. I prefer me without makeup. So why on earth had I kept something that just weighed me down? I think part of it went back to a fear that I might need it someday, but that’s more or less an excuse. In the end, I realized the big thing holding me back was a feeling that getting rid of it would make me less feminine and keep me from fitting in.
Once I identified my hang-ups, I decided to just toss out my makeup and see how I felt. I did that a few months ago and kept only some basic things like chapstick and lip gloss. And in all that time, I’ve realized I feel great without it. I feel good about myself and I don’t miss my makeup.
I don’t need to wear makeup to feel good about myself. I think every woman should really only be doing the things that make her feel good about herself, and I know for some people that’s wearing makeup daily. If that works for you, then keep doing what you like! But if you’re like me and makeup feels daunting and frustrating, why not try tossing it out and seeing if you feel a bit freer.
