Deciding to bring children into the world can be a heavy, hard, and monumental decision. The world constantly throws all the big and scary reasons at you as to why you shouldn’t. We live in a time of uncertainty, whether it is economical, political, or even public health related. Some people never even think about the unrest in the world when having children, and some let it control and postpone their baby-having desires. You have to do what is best for you. Creating life and bringing a baby into this world isn’t a thing to be taken lightly (in my humble opinion), and it’s okay to take your time making that decision. Maybe the way you grew up has a role in whether you have a baby right now. Maybe you are worried about what will happen to your job, school, and your role as wife, friend, and sister. Maybe you don’t really have a reason other than you’re just scared. That’s okay. Every one of those thoughts is normal and okay. You aren’t alone. If you’ve had any of these thoughts, I want to share some truth with you:
To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. – Audrey Hepburn
Now you’re probably thinking, “Here’s some lady on the internet with a stereotypical Audrey Hepburn quote trying to save the world. Yeah. Right.”
Hang on a second and hear me out.
You can relate having kids to planting a garden. Having a child, by birth or by adoption, can make you believe in the future even though we live in a scary world. As a mom you get to watch this tiny, often fresh from heaven human grow, develop, and eventually flourish. You learn their strengths and weaknesses, and see their potential. You believe in them and their abilities to make the world a better place.
Anyone who gardens knows that having a garden takes work. You have to prune flowers, till soil, fertilize, water, and cultivate the plants that you want to grow. You have to spend quite a bit of time and effort in even the smallest garden. Raising children is no different, except for the fact that it requires much more work. You feed them and make them sleep. You do your best to teach them how to make good choices, control their emotions, and to use their words for good. You teach them how to be a good friend and to have respect for themselves and for others. You push them to do good because you know that is what the world needs at this time.
It’s what we all need: a little good.
There’s a lot of give and take in life, and that’s no different in having and raising children. There will be happy and sad times. There will be fleeting moments where you want to hold on so, so tightly. There will be moments where you can’t wait for them to pass. Life and raising children to go out into the world hangs in the balance, in between all the good and the bad.
Don’t waste time thinking of the past and fearing the future. This is obviously easier said than done; but being present is key. If you are waiting for the tiny pink line to show on that positive pregnancy test, hang in there. If you are putting off having kids because you can’t seem to wrap your mind around all the what-ifs, hang in there. If you are a mom in the throes of motherhood, hang in there. If you are reading this, then you are hanging in there for some reason, so keep on hanging on. Kids will make you believe in tomorrow.