If you’ve been anywhere on social media the past few years, you know that people are obsessed with the ’90s. Maybe you’ve seen the clothing styles making their way back to us or the comparison between the economy of the ’90s and that of today. My feed has also been filled with reel after reel showing how to give your kids a ’90s summer. Like so many things on social media, the videos all look awesome.
I have some thoughts.
First, please remember to not compare your real life with anything you see on social media.
If I’m totally candid with you, I lived through every single ’90s summer, and my days looked nothing like any of the reels that I am seeing. There are definitely some commonalities – such as the lack of cell phones for children – but I didn’t spend most days at the park or laughing with my mom, though there was plenty of that. She was working. We had no time or money for bucket lists or grand adventures.
By and large, my ’90s summers were pretty boring.
Don’t get me wrong. If you’ve been around for the past few years, you may have read my other posts where I promote this idea of boredom. In fact, it’s one of my main goals for my kids during the summer. I want them to be bored. I want them to spend that first week of summer feeling a little crazy because they’re detoxing from all of the devices and programs they’ve been using all school year. I want them to feel like there is nothing to do. Then, I want to watch while they come up with something to do. That’s the ’90s summer: wide open and unorganized, which allows for creative play. Boredom, and then learning to appreciate the simple things like the color of a new bug you found crawling across the playset or the shapes of the clouds in the sky.
My ’90s summers were also simple.
I grew up in a small town in Idaho (think East Tennessee mentality, but with a few more potatoes and a lot less water). We didn’t have a swimming pool. In fact, my town didn’t even have one. When we were hot (because…high mountain desert, where 100 degrees was not uncommon in the summer), we used the sprinkler. Not a fancy one. Just your good old regular garden sprinkler. Our other entertainment was similar. Bike rides were a daily occurrence. At the other end of our block was a church, and my siblings and I spent hours riding around the church parking lot with whatever imagined game we decided to play. In so many of these ’90s summer reels, I see a mom with her children always on the go. They’re at a park. On a hike. At the splash pad. Yes, these are fun moments, but they’re not what my ’90s summers were made of.
Remember, there were still electronics.
It’s really easy to look back and praise the ’90s for their lack of social media. Don’t forget that we, too, had devices. The rise of Mario, Donkey Kong, and other video games came with my generation. Kids would spend hours playing video games. There were even hand-held devices so you could take your games anywhere! TV was also a big part of our days (in color even, for my children who believe I was around back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth). We had Saturday morning cartoons and daily/weekly shows on both Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Even without social media, we still knew what was in style and who had the best hair or newest car. For many, a true ’90s summer wasn’t about banning electronics.
So what are we really looking for? To disconnect and connect again.
Rather than stressing about giving your children all of the experiences from the ’90s, look for ways for them to disconnect. My children are still young, so this is a bit easier for us. I limit TV and video game time. They don’t have phones or social media yet, but I am also limiting their music consumption. That might sound a little intense, but with Alexa throughout the house, it’s easy for music to be a constant throughout their day. I don’t just want them to unplug from phones and computers. I want to give their brains some down time. I want them to embrace the quiet of their own mind.
In being disconnected from media, I am also actively looking for ways to connect with my children after so much of their year has been spent away from me at school. I chose a profession in which I can spend the entire summer with my children, and I want to get the most from our time together. Rather than a vacation or expensive days at theme parks (though there is nothing wrong with either of those), we connect in small ways. I spend time reading to my daughter each night. My son and I pull out the Lego bins. My older boys enjoy basketball, so I’m often out on the court highlighting my lack of skills. (I will learn to do a lay-up this summer!) Connection doesn’t mean spending money or making extravagant plans.
