Getting My Pink Back

Have you seen this social media movement? If you haven’t, let me explain. It is a social media movement made popular by influencer Lindsey Gurk and it revolves around flamingos. When a flamingo becomes a mother, she loses her beautiful pink color because she literally gives it all to her young. Over time, however, the mother slowly regains her pink color. What Lindsey has shown us is that as (human) mothers, it’s not only okay — but important — to reclaim our sense of self after having children. It may not happen overnight, but in time, we all find our pink again.

I have loved this movement since the first time I saw it years ago. As mothers, I think we always strive to keep a little portion of ourselves, which is not always an easy thing to do. I have spent years working on bringing pink back into my life — figuratively and literally. 

Ever since my son was born nearly six years ago, my life has revolved around him — every decision, every moment, centered on his needs.

It has been so easy to do. With my son’s disability, a good portion of my life will always have to be dedicated to his care. That is just the way our life is, but with a lot of work, I have gotten a little of myself back. It has started small, like finding and rediscovering hobbies and activities that make me happy. I have been very intentional with my me time. Every so often, I take the time to take myself out on a mini date. I will get a coffee and get my nails done, something I haven’t since my son was born. 

Pink also happens to be my favorite color, so getting my pink back has actually meant bringing pink back into my life. With the remodel of my house, I had the opportunity to redesign my office. What was once a mishmash of random pieces of family memorabilia, has become a clean and organized (most of the time) room with a white and pink aesthetic. The only girly room in my house full of boys! I even upgraded my computer after 13 years, the upside being a new color. Can you guess what I picked? PINK! My guilty pleasure video game is Animal Crossing. I used to decorate my house and island with my son in mind, filling it with little touches and references I thought he’d enjoy. But now, I’ve made it my own: a pink house perched on a hill, complete with pink accents and even a heart-shaped waterfall. It might sound silly, and I’ll admit I feel a bit ridiculous even typing this, but it feels like a little celebration of reclaiming my space and myself.

That said, I’d be lying if I said it all came without a bit of guilt. It takes a conscious effort to remember I deserve a little bit of attention from myself. I am still a person and deserve to treat myself like a person and not just a mom. That doesn’t take away from how proud I am of my son. I still hang his artwork on the fridge, his toys are scattered throughout the house, and nearly every room has something green or a nod to cerebral palsy awareness. But now, if I ever need a moment for myself, I can escape to my girly little office.

So why try? While taking the time to put in this work, I have started to feel a little like me again. I have even wanted to get back into running again…I know crazy, right? I find myself wanting to put more work into myself. Taking the time to get dressed in a cute outfit, which is something I used to love doing. I have put more pride into my home and my surroundings. I have worked on some home DIY projects that I have been putting off. I even started a sourdough starter! 

I never realized how much I needed to get my pink back. I can truly see and feel a difference. It may seem so minimal until you put the work into yourself to start to feel like a person again. YOU ARE WORTH IT!