Motherhood is busy enough with the normal day-to-day activities and demands. Add caring for your parents into the mix, and it’s a whole new level of stress and worry. The “Sandwich Generation” is a term used for adults caring for parents and children at the same time, and it’s not limited to a specific generation. It can affect anyone from their twenties onward.
More recently, our family has had a taste of life in the sandwich generation. In addition to our busy schedule with the kids and work, we’ve been caring for and worrying about our parents. We’ve had to call doctors, take them to appointments, check in on them, make hospital visits, drive to the ER, prepare meals, run errands, care for pets — you name it. And then there’s the mental strain: wondering if they’re following the doctor’s directions, if they’re resting, and how they’re really doing. It all takes a toll.
Early this summer, my dad survived a terrible accident. In the days and weeks that followed, I learned a few things that would have made life a lot easier, and helped me feel a lot less panicked in the moment.
Here are some of the tips and lessons that have helped in our own “sandwich” journey:
1. Keep digital copies of important documents.
When I got the call about my dad’s accident, I wasn’t at home with the paper copies, nor was I in any frame of mind to start thinking about where they were. Having digital copies of essentials like a driver’s license, healthcare power of attorney, and living will, makes it much easier to access them when you need them most.
2. Have a current list of medications and doctors.
I knew my dad was taking medicine for a couple of things, but in the ER I couldn’t name them exactly. A current list of medications and healthcare providers can save time, reduce confusion, and ensure your loved one gets the right care.
3. Accept help when it’s offered — and delegate.
This one’s hard for me. I often think I can handle everything myself and don’t want to inconvenience anyone. But when a friend offered to pick up my youngest, feed him, and give him something to do while I helped my parents, I said yes. That small act lifted a weight off my shoulders.
4. Prioritize sleep and give yourself grace.
Easier said than done, I know. But a good night’s rest can go a long way in handling stress. Some things won’t be done exactly the way you want, and that’s okay. I had to tell clients I was going to be behind, which was hard for me, but they were gracious and understanding while I caught up.
Caregiving while raising a family has its own unique set of challenges. It can feel isolating, exhausting, and overwhelming, but it can also be a time of deep connection, resilience, and love.
