There is a social media page that I follow. You may have heard of it; it’s called Humans of New York or HONY for short. If you haven’t heard of it, it started as one man’s photography project to capture 10,000 individual New Yorkers out and about doing their own thing, however over time, he started interviewing his subjects and began releasing their stories along with their pictures. I’m fascinated every time I read one, whether the New Yorker is inspirational, sad, confused, angry or entertaining. It proves how every person you pass on the street has a completely different life and is always going through something you’d never know by just looking at them.
A recent post, which was uplifting, reminded me of something I did when I was younger. I think it’s something everyone should do and something I plan to have my kids do when they’re a little older.
First, let me summarize the New Yorker’s story:
A woman who had been an excellent and thriving student in her Latino community “crashed” when she was dropped into her new college environment and developed insecurities including her culture, weight, and hair. On top of her insecurities, she lost her dad and two grandparents during the last semester of her freshman year. The toll this took on her caused depression, lack of motivation and zero energy to eat or even get out of bed. When she stumbled upon a YouTube video about manifestation, based on the law of assumption, she learned if you assume you have something, it will be yours. So, she recorded herself stating “I” statements and listened to it on loop all day every day. “I’m confident.” “I’m beautiful.” “I’m smart.” “I’m enough.” She even slept with headphones in her ears listening to herself speak to herself positively. Those manifestations led to finding a group of people that changed her perception on life. Because of that manifestation and the new network of friends, she’s once again energized, motivated, happy and thriving.
My manifestation story isn’t quite the same.
It did not involve going to college, family members dying, headphones or YouTube videos. Mine stemmed from not being happy with who I was, or at least how I was perceived. I was a super shy, introverted, self-conscious worrier from childhood through middle school. I was afraid to raise my hand in class for fear my answer would be stupid or wrong. My face would get red very easily (still does) when attention was on me and that would make me even more embarrassed. All my friends had their first kiss before me, and I was worried no boy would ever like me. Whenever I tried out for something, I wouldn’t make it. I watched my friends become middle school athletes and cheerleaders as I sat on the sidelines wondering when I’d find “my thing.”
I knew I didn’t want to start high school this way, so I decided to make a list. This list would include habits I wanted to change about myself and things I should do to change how I was perceived. Simple things like “smile a lot” or “develop a good sense of humor.” Even stuff like “be confident,” “state my opinions,” and “compliment people on things.” I read this list every day towards the end of 8th grade and during the summer approaching high school. I also finally made something I tried out for which started practices that summer at the high school. The combination of this manifestation and group acceptance made me enter high school with a whole new attitude and outlook. When I look back at myself in middle school versus high school, it’s like I’m looking back at two different people. I didn’t change who I was. I found who I was. I’ve been able to say “I know who I am” since high school. And it all started with a tiny notebook and a pen.
If you are still searching for your true self or if you are in a low place desperate to crawl out, I encourage you to start a list of what you want to change. Be realistic. Don’t write “be a millionaire by next year” if you have $100 in the bank. Start with “get out of bed with a smile even if I have to force it onto my face” or “be more patient.” Write things that you have control of right now and forever, and then read it every day or record yourself and listen every day. Eventually you’ll start to see some positive changes.
If you don’t follow the HONY page yet, I encourage you to do so. It’s a helpful reminder that we’ve all been on different paths and the world is filled with an eclectic variety of awesome, eccentric, inspiring people.
