When I was in elementary school, my class had a fun project where our teacher paired us up with a pen pal from a different school. We all got to write little letters back and forth to our pen pals and send them off until one day we got to meet in person and play on the playground together and get pictures with our pen pals. It was such a fun way to get to know someone new, and I can still remember how much I enjoyed every letter I got.
Nowadays, my mailbox is filled with random advertisements, bills, and credit card offers. Opening the mailbox becomes more of a chore than a delight when you grow up and start doing that “adulting” thing.
This February, however, I discovered something I didn’t know was a thing: a Facebook group for women who wanted pen pals.
Out of curiosity I joined and saw women sharing introductory posts about themselves and requesting snail mail from other ladies around the world. So I made a post and sat back to see what would happen. I had some immediate responses from people who wanted to connect with me and began messaging strangers on the internet my address. I know, it sounds a little crazy when I put it that way, doesn’t it? But none of those strangers have shown up at my door, sent me glitter-bombs, or otherwise harassed me, so I think it’s worked out so far.
Instead, my mailbox has become a place of pleasant surprises again, and I’m reclaiming the delight of opening the mail and finding handwritten letters with my name on them. It’s a little hobby I never knew I needed, and I’ve made some wonderful new friends from around the world through snail mail.
If you take a scroll through Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest and look up pen pals or snail mail, you’ll quickly find that the days of simple handwritten letters are long behind us. They aren’t entirely gone, and many people still take great joy in those missives, but you’ll discover people are sending letters that are artful, hand-crafted, hand-lettered, and otherwise bursting with (mostly flat) treats for their recipients. Some people make envelopes from cardstock or magazines. Some people create little pockets to tuck stickers and tea bags inside for their pals. Some people draw pictures or send word searches.
I’ve discovered people love to dive into creative pursuits when writing letters, and I’ve let my inner child come out to play. If you’re a millennial like me, perhaps you remember Lisa Frank and Sanrio’s Hello Kitty. Do you remember the flashy neon colors of dolphins and leopards on Lisa Frank stickers, folders, and Trapper Keepers? Do you remember hoarding those stickers and putting them all over the most inappropriate things (like your dresser drawers)? No, just me? (Sorry, mom!)
Having pen pals is fulfilling my inner child’s need to decorate with stickers and color and just generally indulge in slowing down and spending time sharing about life with someone who doesn’t see the little snippets I share on social media. It’s a chance to be me with people who don’t already have some preconceived notion of who I am. And if that means I’m buying stickers and washi tape to share with others, well, it’s just part of the joy of sharing things I love.
But in the process of finding new pen pals, I’ve learned a lot about other women.
We crave connection. It’s a human condition, and sometimes taking the time to just sit and think through what we want to share gives us a sense of community. There’s someone in Japan who thinks of me because we both love Asian dramas. A lady in the UK and I discuss our children and the challenges we face. A new pen pal in the Northern Mariana Islands sent me the most beautiful flip-book full of facts about her homeland and recipes of foods she loves. A friend from Michigan wrote that she thinks of me and the students I teach when she takes her son to football practice.
Writing and sending letters has allowed me to slow down and make friends the “old fashioned way” in a world where everything is bite-sized and fast-paced. It might not be for everyone, but if you’re looking for a hobby that has you making new friends and getting crafty and creative, you might want to check out some of the amazing pen pal groups out there and start writing.
