Check Yourself, Before You Wreck Yourself!

There is one special day a year designated to celebrate moms but that is not enough for me. I work hard. At the end of the day I get it together and am the best I can be – a beautiful mess.

Right after giving birth, it became apparent that my body and lifestyle had been obliterated. To be honest I embraced this and said to myself…”Hey grrrrrl, you just gave birth. Relax. Be a mess.” So I looked something like this…[couch potato, don’t wash my hair on the weekend{grease bomb}, flabby belly {food baby…checked with pregger test}, what is that smell {me}, where is that smell coming from {hinter regions}, what did I just eat off my clothes?]

And have felt like that for the past two years.

Recently that image has become a fun-house mirror for me, meaning I recognize that is a warped self-image and not reflective of who I truly am. That image is not healthy. I recognize that I need balance for me [emphasis on the “I” and “me”]. If I do not get it together I will not be such a beautiful mess but the real kind – overwhelmed, resentful, controlling, helicopter-live my life for my child-martyr type mom, clinically depressed.

This January I made a conscious decision to nurture and give birth to my true self. I am asking myself questions like:

• What is most important to me?
• What depletes me, sabotages me, gets in my way?
• When I was a kid, who did I see myself as?
• What do I love about me?
• When I decide that I don’t really give a damn about what people think of me…what does that look like?

I am taking my time answering these questions. So far I know what is important to me: alone time, being creative, getting my hands in the dirt, being outside, and self care.

I am taking charge of my happiness.

I am making what is important to me a priority as often as I can.

I am kind to myself when I lose focus.

I listen to my soft inner voice that says “Be kind to yourself, hon. You got this. Keep moving. It takes practice to make change.”

I have taken action to: sneak in me time (before work, during lunch breaks, and before daycare pick up), join KMB as my creative outlet, sign up for my neighborhood community garden, organize a monthly camping trip, join a women’s lunch time group, attempt to eat healthier, and take recommendations from other mothers.

I ask for help. In fact, some of the KMB moms chimed in on how they self care:

• I work through lunch…I run…I get a pedicure once a month. – Sarah
  
• I read, write my posts…window shop… I am very lucky that my husband can usually tell when I’m nearing my breaking point and he will send me out somewhere to collect myself. KMB MNO have been a really great way for me to pamper myself…Connecting with other moms is one of the best ways to connect with myself too. – Caitland
• I go to the gym. For my family’s collective sanity, it’s really important for me to sweat things out as often as possible. – Francesca
• I love to go to lunch with my girlfriends, dinner with friends or my husband, food/beer festivals, basically I love good food and love any social time eating good food/drinks. Real pampering happens with a massage, which is definitely pampering but more therapeutic than anything for me, both mentally and physically. – Kara
• I let [my kids] go to Mimi’s house as much as they want (usually 2 weekends a month). They have a blast and I can sit in my underpants and watch the DVR or fold laundry or do whatever else I need to do that I can’t or that’s hard with little people around. – Ashley
• I went to the Iaomai Center in Concord for a massage today. They also do personalized yoga therapy, as well as nutrition and health mentoring. It is a small practice but so luxurious! – Mary Beth

I made a list of simple things I can do for myself:

I am continually trying to find balance…I have few tools that have helped me and am sharing them on our Knoxville Moms Blog Pinterest as a lil’ gift to you.

Take care of yourself momma!