When people ask me about adoption, I always describe it as a miracle. With a pregnancy and birth, God performs a miracle in the physical body. In the case of adoption, the miracle is performed in the heart.
As a young woman, newly engaged, I made an appointment with my gynecologist to explain to him why I needed my tubes tied. I had a list of very logical reasons which included expectations for my career, my body and my marriage. My fiancé and I had talked about children and decided our best option was to adopt when, and if, we were ready. Thankfully, my gynecologist denied my request.
Our marriage began like most marriages do. We started with the usual honeymoon period and then miraculously survived the remainder of the dreaded first year, after which, many of our ideas about marriage and family were changed. When we could finally see a realistic view of our future together, we decided we were ready to have children. After a year without birth control and no pregnancy, we began to worry. Our fears were confirmed when my doctor told us I would not be able to have children.
Over $600 later in expenses for doctors visits and injectable medications that I did not take (that’s another post entirely), and countless hours spent on my knees on the cold tile of the bathroom floor praying over home pregnancy tests, we agreed to pursue adoption. We didn’t have to wait long for an opportunity.
At that time, I was still working outside the home and a coworker approached me about the possibility of adopting her grandchild that would be born a few months later. Without hesitation or prayer I said yes. I called my husband not to get his thoughts on the matter, but to share the news that I had found a child for us.
After the initial excitement wore off, my husband and I realized that neither of us had any peace about the situation. After a few days of discussion and prayer, we both felt this was not the child for us. I went back to the coworker and told her that we could not adopt her grandchild. Four days later we found out we were pregnant.
We went through that pregnancy while still completing our homestudy, thinking we would still adopt in a couple of years. When our new baby was only 4 months old, we got another call to adopt another child; a 21 month old little boy.
The drive across town on the evening we picked him up was extremely emotional. Even after a year of preparations, the questions in my mind were spilling over in tears. I wondered if I could love him the same way I did our little four month old daughter. I wondered if he would love me the way she did.
The instant I saw him, my fears melted away. He wasn’t the tiny baby I had seen myself adopting. He was toddling around all chubby wobbly.
We were blessed with two children in the same year, one born of my body and one born of my heart. All of my fears about adoption were gone. I knew every time I looked at my children together, they were both mine.
The days after were not always easy. I had to learn to be a mother an infant and a toddler at the same time and we had to go through the growing pains of our life changing quickly and drastically again but it was worth it. In fact, it was so worth it, we didn’t stop there. We are now a family of 7. My husband and I have five children, two biological daughters and three sons, ours by the amazing miracle of adoption.
When we look at our sons, we cannot help but see a beautiful picture of how we are all grafted into the family of God.
About Melissa
Hello there! I’m Melissa. I am wife to Stacy and homeschooling mom to five children. We live in East Tennessee, just north of Knoxville on land that has been in my family for five generations. Life Off The Paved Road is my online home where I talk about natural living, marriage, parenting, homeschooling, and adoption. I hope you will stop by, hang out for a while and come back to visit from time to time.
Love love love this post! Thank you for sharing your beautiful story!
It takes a special person to adopt, and even more special family! Y’all are heroes in my book!