Shh. Don’t tell anyone, but I have a career. And two kids.
I know, right? They let me leave the hospital – TWICE! – with a new baby. Fully knowing that I would be a working mom. I didn’t even have to sign an extra form or anything.
Here’s the thing. It works for us. I love my job. I love my kids. And quite honestly… I don’t feel like I’m sacrificing much of anything to have both.
I came across the most disheartening article the other day in my Facebook feed. It was from a parenting website in Rockford, Illinois. The first line was “You know you are a working mom when…. You always feel mediocre. A mediocre mom, a mediocre wife“… and it went on from there. I just about cried. Not for me, because I wholeheartedly disagree with the sentiment. But for all the working moms out there. For all the yet-to-be-moms who now feel like there’s just no darn way to balance it all.
Spoiler alert: there is. My favorite definition of the word balance is harmony: “a state in which various parts form a satisfying and harmonious whole.”
Now, with a one-year-old and an almost-three-year-old, there’s not a lot of this harmony word that the dictionary speaks about going on at our house in the mornings (and I know I’m not alone here!). Getting out the door is one of the greatest accomplishments I claim, each and every morning. YES, my beloved son requires fruit snacks to get into the car {a fact that my college bestie loves to call out in every photo I post to Instagram!!}, and YES, my kids have cereal instead of french toast with powdered sugar and whipped cream for breakfast (but does this really happen anywhere other than TV?), and YES, sometimes we even just stay in our jammies to make it happen. BUT, we get out the door, I get to work (reasonably) on time, and at the end of the day the looks on their faces when I arrive to pick them up can’t be beat.
{Now, here’s where I’ll admit that my family has been blessed with an angel sent directly from heaven. My kids ADORE their incredible caregiver. She is simply THE. BEST. Even the grandmothers agree… which is saying something, wink wink.}
So, back to harmony. I’m not saying it’s all roses. And I’m not saying it works for everyone. There are days that are just plain HARD. I travel sometimes for work, and my husband bears the brunt of the craziness. {Oh yeah, did I tell you that he works, too??} But you have to come up with your own brand of balance. The concept of “doing it all” is a farce, I tell you. No one, in the history of (wo)man has done it! Our ability to be satisfied with what we have is fodder for a whole different post, but I’ll tell you right now that if you aren’t (at least moderately) happy with what you have, you won’t be happy if you work or don’t work, have one kid or ten, make one dollar or one million. It’s helpful if you’re one part hyper-organized and one part hyper-easy-going. But it’s not required.
The article went on to {ahem… incorrectly} state that when you get home “instead of sitting down and playing with them you have to prep and cook dinner” and I think of how many amazing nights we’ve spent in the kitchen with our kids mixing up “the ‘gredients” for our meal. How many times we’ve made a game out of cleaning up the house or folding the laundry. How our kids laugh to the point of tears when their daddy wrestles with them before bed. How we’d do ALL OF THESE THINGS whether I had a job or not.
YES, there are fewer hours where I’m at home during the day. YES, we pay bills and run the dishwasher after the kiddos are in bed. YES, we sometimes fall asleep on the couch while my husband and I are trying to watch something other than a cartoon.
But NO, I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I’ve been on both sides and both have pros and cons. You’re exactly right, it’s all about balance and making the most of the time you have. If you find yourself not having time for the kids in the evening because of things you have to get done, it’s time to reorganize, re prioritize, after all your child(s) is only young for a short period of time.
Exactly right, Miss Ceri!! Regardless of what you do – you’ll likely never have enough time to “do it all”. So long as you get to do what’s impoartant to you, that’s all that matters 🙂
Great article Julie!!! It is all about finding balance you you and your family!!
Love this Julie!! So true! It takes balance but it can be done. Love the picture of Collier with the fruit snacks. 🙂 Cooper will do anything for those things!
You get it Julie. Get everyone involved no matter how old they are. That’s the way to build a family 🙂
As a mother of an adolescent daughter who has chosen not to work and also to work outside of the home, I think that when a mother truely embraces being a mother she feels anything but mediocre. She is a modern day superhero to her family whether she decides to work outside or inside of the home or both in many cases. And albeit children do know and sense when a parent is evoking negativity. Harmony is also depicted in how a mother seizes her God given opportunities or lets them float by. One of my all time favorite words of wisdom is, “How you spend your life is of course how you choose to spend your days.”
When we receive the blessing of motherhood we should strive to seize every heart felt moment we can as childhood passes far too quickly.
Yay!! I work outside the home. I have three kids and a husband. I wouldn’t trade it either. I love my kids. I love my job. I love my life!!
I’m a stay at home mom currently and I’ve also been a work outside of home mom. But, I have to say, French toast only gets served on weekends no matter what kind of mom I am.