So, you are thinking about moving to a new city, or maybe you just did. You are likely doing something of the sort or this title wouldn’t have pulled you in. Think of me as your Gordon Ramsay of the starting-over world. I know the fears you have and the struggles you are going through. Those only grow with each child you have to worry about during the transition. It is a heavy load on a family’s shoulders.
In 10 years, I have lived in four states, each time having to find my footing, each time getting easier as I started to see what worked to help me feel settled. So, let me share some tips that I have learned along the way that has made the uprooting so much easier.
This post is written by Ginger Henderson on behalf of Jennine Smith Realtor.
Find your tribe – This is a big one. It really does take a village, as they say. As much as I have tried to do it on my own, life has a way of reminding me of this. Once I stopped fighting that realization, I became much happier in my new city. The struggle is to find the answer to the question, “But how do I make friends when I don’t know anyone?” There are a million easy ways!
- Sign your kids up for a mommy and me class
- Take them to an art class
- Go to story time at the library
- Join a playgroup
- Take a class at the gym
- Volunteer
- Join the PTA
- Go to the park
- Invite your new neighbors over
The list could go on, but these are my personal favorites. There is one key detail though; you absolutely have to be willing to talk to other mommas! Here is a secret you might not know: they are at all these places because, like you, they are looking for connection! Mothering can be lonely. Scratch that; it is lonely at times.
On the hard days, we need a friend to remind us that we are not alone. So, ask that cool mom who likes her coffee the same way you do if she wants to grab a cup on Friday. Until that happens, keep your momma and your best friend on speed dial! It will help with the transition.
Your Attitude – Admittedly, I learned this one the hard way and had to really reflect on the cause of my unhappiness. Here is the hard truth: your attitude makes all the difference. I get it; likely you didn’t want to leave your family and friends behind. Or maybe you did, but you got to the new place and it wasn’t everything you thought it would be. It might even be that everything is going wrong when you arrive and suddenly you start to think it’s the city or something in the air and you are starting to regret your choice.
Let’s pump the breaks right here and look at it from a different perspective. You are in a brand-new city. There are endless new parks, restaurants, museums, shops, etc. for you to check out. You should wake up each morning completely jazzed, and if you aren’t you need to figure out why and find something that makes you feel that way. Coffee always helps. I think I am starting to see a theme here…
Get Settled – This was what I did with my most recent move, and it was the most helpful thing I could have done. When I am in transition, I am a more anxious and unhappy person. I need my pictures up and my things unpacked and my kids on a schedule. As soon as we purchased our home, we started going to the pool and hanging out with neighbors, and I started to feet at home and at ease.
This is where finding an exceptional realtor comes in. Not good, not great; exceptional. One who will help you find the location that best suits your family and really listens to your needs, not what they think you need. This was what our lovely realtor (now someone we consider family) did for us. The first time we met Jennine Smith, she was standing outside on a warm day, with a big beautiful smile and said, “Welcome to Tennessee!” I instantly felt comfortable and never once did she feel like a stranger. Coming to a new city with two school-aged children was scary, but she helped us find a lovely, safe home, in our budget, and in a great school zone. It was because of her hard work and kind heart that I was able to transition here so quickly.
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