When it comes to being a Mom, we are all very different. Some are Moms of older kids, while others are still up every night with a newborn. Some are country Moms and some are strictly urban dwellers. Some Moms keep a tight schedule and some run perfectly well in constant chaos. But there are a few things that are universal to being a Mom.
All Moms do these things:
1. Consume A Survival Drink
And I mean CAFFEINE! Maybe you aren’t really a coffee drinker and don’t LIVE on the stuff like many of us, but I’ll bet an iced tea or even just a soda are great for a pick-me-up when the day (or week) has just worn you out. Sure, it’s not really good for us, but neither is having a toddler cough into our eyeballs either, but it happens. And if it’s wine, girl no judgement here. Momming is HARD.
2. Keep A Mental Calendar And A Real Calendar
Can you imagine how Marie Kondo our husbands’ brains must be without all those dates swirling around in there constantly? I keep a calendar on my phone for easy appointment additions. I keep a marker board calendar posted for the whole family to see what’s coming up. And I also keep a mental calendar. I know about when our dental appointments are, about when the dog is due for shots, and about when all my kids’ friends’ birthday parties will be.
3. Wonder If The Laundry Is Actually Reproducing By Itself
This has to be the only real excuse. The laundry must secretly be copying itself each night, right? There are only four people in this house, yet the laundry piles up as if we are hosting a clothing donation event for the whole city. And I know for a fact that my teenagers wear the same hoodie eight times in a week. Sure, they own 43 hoodies, but that same one with the loose pocket is the only one going to school each day.
4. Have A Conversation From The Toilet
The kids ALWAYS need something when you have to “go.” It doesn’t matter the age of the kids, either. I swear to you that my teenagers have bathroom radar. They only venture out of their rooms every so often, but I can guarantee if I need two minutes in the bathroom, they will come find me. It should be statistically impossible that this happens EVERY TIME, but it does!
5. Marvel That Food Disappears From The Pantry At Alarming Rates When My Kids Don’t Like Anything But Pizza Rolls And Chicken Nuggets
Every time I go grocery shopping and consider selling a kidney to fund my shopping, I wonder where all the food I bought last time went. Surely the kids who don’t like anything aren’t eating the vegetables from the fridge and the canned beans from the pantry. So where is this food actually going?
6. Tell Our Kids How Important Nutrition Is While Our Daily Intake Consists Of Iced Coffee And Bread Crusts With The Occasional Licked Ice Cream Cone
It’s our job to make sure our kids are healthy. We spend so much time trying to help them grow into strong human beings that by the time it’s our turn to eat, the energy isn’t there and we grab whatever we can before going on to the next chore or errand. I did this so much when I had toddlers, and thought someday I’d get a real meal when my kids could make their own sometimes too. But now they do make their own “meals,” the thought of cooking just for myself is not worth it and I am still just calling 10 corn chips and some salsa lunch all too often.
7. Despise Coming Up With Dinner
I don’t really even like cooking, but I will do it without too much grumbling. But if even just ONE TIME, my family would ask for/suggest a specific meal and I didn’t have to figure out what to feed them everyday for eternity, I would be in heaven. But it’s really hard to find “I Don’t Know” at the grocery store and “I Don’t Care” isn’t very filling and healthy.
8. Teach Our Kids Responsibility By Making Them Finish Homework, While Secretly Hating Homework
I despise homework. After a full day of school, why are kids supposed to do MORE work? Are we teaching them to put in a 40 hour work week but then bring extra work home with them? I sure hope that’s not the message we are sending. But I adore my kids’ teachers and I know they are doing what they think is right (even if I disagree) and so I support them and make sure my kids do their homework.
9. Constantly Think About How Tired We Are While Simultaneously Staying Up WAY Too Late Every Night
Good sleep is vital to all the things we do each day as a Mom. I know I should be getting to bed with the kids so that the nighttime up and down plus the daily busyness don’t drain me. But then the FREEDOM of kid-free screen time is too much of a draw to skip it. Repeat every night.
10. Think Our Kids are the Greatest Thing Ever AND Also Think They are Driving Us Crazy
I don’t know if being a Mom can be summed up any simpler than that. We make the cutest, best, most amazing little people and they bring us so much pure joy. We love them so fiercely! Annnnnnnd… we also thank our lucky stars when their grandparents take those crazy heathens so we can rest from the trauma.
