Sometimes I wonder what on earth God was thinking giving me three boys. While I am not a girly-girl by any means, I admit that in a prior life, I daydreamed about frilly dresses and mother-daughter shopping trips. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted a boy too. It just never really entered my mind that I may have more than one, or that boys may be all I have. I was convinced that I would have a boy first (I personally always wanted an older brother), then my precious little girl. Having a boy was almost just a line item in the whole plan.
That moment I first heard, “It’s a boy!” and broke down into a mess of shivering tears on the operating table, my life changed in ways I could never have known before. I have learned about trucks, grunts, bodily functions, and all the mess of being a boy. I have also had many of my previously-held ideas of what boys are like completely shattered! Monkey #1 is one of the most sensitive kids I’ve ever seen. He dotes on his baby brother, loves to snuggle with his Mama any time she asks, and is extremely aware of others’ feelings. He is also tender-hearted, easily frustrated by his younger brother, and is fearful when he allows his mind to wander at night. As he gets older, his personality is starting to come out, and there are times in which he brings tears to my eyes, both happy and sad. He is that kid that makes you think about the world we live in, and how much you hate that one day he’ll have to learn about the bad side. He has been a massive learning experience for me in that boys can be boys, yet just as sensitive and emotional as any girl.
This past year, life handed me one of the biggest surprises yet. Our youngest – our complete surprise, the easy-going baby of the family, and everyone’s little jewel – started throwing up at random. He wouldn’t keep anything down for an entire day, and even into the night at times, and was doing it about every 4-5 days. He started losing weight, and his growth curves flattened out. Even though we ran every blood test and x-ray we could think of, even the pediatricians were confused. We tried some Zantac, hoping it was just acid reflux. We even thought it might be a food allergy (we had just started varying his diet in solids). After two months of this, we went to see a GI specialist.
It’s never a good thing as a parent when you get a call at home, telling you that bloodwork and testing came back abnormal. I can literally remember the feeling of my heart dropping into my stomach. Suddenly, my whole world was turned upside down. Over the course of the next 3 weeks, we went from medical test to medical test. I wondered if someone was going to report me to CPS because of the bruises on his little arms and legs from all the needles. The worst was having to hold my own baby down while the nurse is trying desperately to find a vein in a baby who hasn’t been allowed to drink for 12 hours!
Finally, during a scope of his upper GI, the doctors found a tumor. The news was like the worst sucker punch to the gut! It was the longest 30 minutes of our lives waiting for him to come back from recovery. We were now waiting on biopsy results on a tumor sitting right inside his stomach! My husband and I had many moments where we couldn’t even look straight at each other, for fear that one of us would break down. We went through more scopes, biopsies, and tests. An entire six weeks of time was a complete blur. Finally, during surgery at the end of September, it was removed with little to no fanfare, and the biopsy results came back benign!
Our little guy was covered in prayer from so many sources, and we learned so much during the whole mess! We are still dealing with follow-ups, and what-does-this-means, and regular oversight for the rest of his childhood. But our entire perspective has been changed because of it. I look at my children so differently now. I’m sure that I will treat him differently, especially being the baby as well. But all I know is that I have learned how many great people there are in my life, what a great church family I have, and just how special my children really are.
I have also learned that even though this turned out to be essentially a blip on the radar screen (thank God!), I took things for granted. I had relatively smooth pregnancies, my boys have been pretty healthy, and we’ve lived a charmed life so far compared to some. I am so much more aware of families that have serious health issues to deal with, or heaven forbid, have lost a child. One of the things that I hope to change in 2014 and forward is my awareness of the blessings in my life, and how much I have to be grateful for!
Janie I am so glad they were able to figure it out at such a young age…that must have been so nerve wrecking!
Yes, my nerves were a mess! I am so thankful too, because at least now we know what we’re dealing with. But it shook our little world for a while!