Becoming a stay-at-home mom is a dream for so many. It was my dream long before I became one and it’s the reason I chose my career path as a professional writer as it gives me the flexibility in my schedule to put motherhood first.
However, now that I am a stay-at-home mom, there are a few things I wish I had known before jumping in. I’m not saying that I would’ve changed my mind about taking on this role, but it would’ve been helpful to know some of this beforehand.
If you’re considering transitioning out of the workplace to stay at home with your little one, read on:
Motherhood is all-consuming.
When you’re raising a little one who doesn’t know a thing about how to keep themselves alive, as a stay-at-home mom, your day instantly becomes about meeting their every single need. Your schedule switches to waiting on them hand and foot, becoming their educator, assistant, clown, cleaner, chauffeur, cook, and more. However you used to spend your day or decompress gets collapsed into the golden hour of their nap time. Let’s face it: when your child goes to bed is probably the only time you have to spend alone with your partner.
Your days will be long (and may even bleed over into the other).
Sometimes things happen…especially at night. Choo-choo trains or the garbage man wake your child up earlier than you want, toothaches, potty training, thunderstorms, or being afraid of monsters can interrupt their sleep pattern (and yours) causing everything to spill over into the next day. And as much as your partner may want to contribute when things go awry at night, as a stay-at-home mom, you’ll likely feel the obligation to be the one to pick things up because you know you can adjust your schedule and your partner has to get up to go to work in the morning.
It will be lonely (at first).
Not having a place to report to every day for work (and friends and family who’re at work during the day too), could cause you to feel lonely and in need of adult interaction. If the only person you get to interact with all day is a little one, it can feel isolating. But the good news is that you can meet mom friends at playgrounds, mommy and me classes, or even on the Tinder for moms app to make friends for you and playdates for your little one. I made some of my closest friends from that app after moving to a new state and finding out I was pregnant around the same time.
You’ll go through an identity crisis.
So many of us place our value in our careers or measure our level of success by what we get done in a day, but that’s not a reality for stay-at-home moms. We have to learn how to see the value in our new identity and role as a stay-at-home mom because productivity won’t always look the same as it did before. Additionally, unless you have somewhere special to go, it’s easy to go through a bit of an identity crisis with your “new” mom look. It’s easy for your cuter wardrobe and the need for makeup all go out of the door. After all, what’s the point of wearing makeup to a playdate? Many days, I’m lucky if I make it out the door on time without forgetting something. Or maybe that’s just me, haha.
Only other stay-at-home moms will understand.
Having the privilege to stay at home with your child is so beautiful and so rewarding. However, on the days when it gets hard, you’ll want to vent though sometimes the only people who will truly understand your gripes are other stay-at-home moms. For some reason, venting about lack of “me-time“ and how you always have to be “on” doesn’t always blow over well when venting to someone who’s not a stay-at-home mom because they just can’t relate. In their eyes, you can always just adjust your day, which I guess is true.
It’s the ultimate sacrifice.
You’re putting a pause on your career to become a primary caregiver. Dedicating your entire life to someone is the ultimate sacrifice. As much as my life has changed since becoming a stay-at-home mom, it’s priceless moments like jumping in the bed with my two-year-old during the day and getting to build an incredible bond that make it all worth it. You get to catch all of their firsts and support them through a wide range of emotions and moments in life when they need you the most. This is truly the best investment I have made in my life, and one of the best investments I believe anyone can make ever. The love that gets instilled and the ability to nurture and nourish your child like only a mother can do is the absolute best.
If you’re thinking about becoming a stay-at-home mom, hopefully, you have a fresh take on what it’s really like and have some insights going forward. There are many ups and downs, but at least you now know what you might be getting into if you get to become a stay-at-home mom.
