Do You Want to be My Best Friend?

Do you want to be my best friend?

This season feels lonely…and long. I have friends whom I love with my whole heart and people to call when I am in trouble, but I don’t feel like I have a best friend in this season. I don’t feel like anyone calls me their best friend. Maybe I’m stuck in a juvenile frame on mind from high school and college, but I look at other women and see that they — even as adults and mothers — have a best friend.

Women who are older, more seasoned than I am — I look at others and see exactly what I want in my life.

I don’t have someone I can call and say, “Hey, do you wanna go to the park or get lunch?” I don’t have someone whose door I can knock on with mascara streaming down my face when my world is broken. I don’t have a person that I can invite over to lay on my bed to watch a movie. I don’t have someone to whom I can tell my ugliest truth and know that they will love me the same.

So…do you want to be my best friend?

I promise that I am kind. I am trustworthy and funny. I am not very sociable; I’m introverted and I keep to myself, but I do know how to have a good time. I love board games and books. I like singing in the car at the top of my lungs. I like romantic comedies and chocolate. I will always share my wine. There will always be a spot at the dinner table and on the couch for you. I love through hospitality. I don’t care if you dress up or you dress down. I’m bluntly honest and I do not sugarcoat things, but I love deeply and will be there for you no matter what.

Is there a match dot com for friendships? I don’t know how to find a best friend. I can make friends no problem, but nothing with a deep connection or an instant bond. Maybe friendships in adulthood are not achievable with my expectations. I know mine have faded as the years have gone by, people have moved, and we are in different seasons of life — and then suddenly I felt like I was all alone. I’ve become more withdrawn as the days go by and it makes it even harder. 

I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way, which is why I’m writing this on a blog for moms. Someone who reads this post can relate and know that they aren’t alone, that they aren’t the only one who doesn’t seem to have that one person that everyone else has. Adulthood in general and motherhood in particular can isolate us and turn our lives upside down. It’s impossible to juggle it all — the baby, husband, the new everything, the emotions, the personality and mental changes — it’s so much. But we can all relate and we all have an area that allows us to connect. I can’t be the only one who feels like they have this void in their life. 

Am I alone? Is anyone else looking for a best friend?