Things I’ve Learned from My Three Year Old

Isn’t it true that sometimes our kids seem to teach us more than we teach them? Here are few things my son has taught me in the three short years of his life.

1. Sweat the small stuff.

Especially if that small stuff is a missing ear from one of your four Mr. Potato Head sets. It will never matter that you have 7 other ears, if one is missing, it is the end of your life. Always throw tantrums at easily fixed situations and never do what anyone is suggesting to fix the problem. Especially if thirty seconds earlier you suggested the same thing.

2. Ask for the same thing over and over and over and over again.

And if you don’t get the answer you want the first time or the twentieth time, keep asking. Eventually you’ll get the answer you’re looking for. If you don’t, ask again.

3. Loudly announce to everyone in the room, restaurant, or church foyer that you have to use the bathroom.

Make sure that when this announcement is made, that you use the most grotesque and graphic words possible so that everyone has no questions about what you’re going to be doing in there. Also wait until the last possible second to rush to the bathroom so that when you make your announcement, it’s as much as a surprise to you as it is to everyone in the room.

4. Don’t ever, ever, ever, go to bed without asking for 7 things first.

You cannot sleep until you’ve had as many requests granted as there are hours left until sunrise. Water? Yep, you need it. Potty? Better get to it. That water runs through your bladder quickly. Another toy to snuggle with? I hear Potato Heads are the snuggliest of all toys. If you don’t get what you’re asking for the first time, please see tip number two.

5. When life gets tough, throw yourself on the floor and refuse to move. 

I mean, is there really any other way to deal with life? When you’re stressed at work, just throw yourself down on the break room floor. When laundry is piled up higher than you ever thought possible, just plop right down on that pile of clothes and refuse to move until someone offers you some chocolate and a nap. That’s how life works. That’s how we accomplish things.

And that is the extent of the wealth of knowledge gained from my small human. What have you learned from yours?