The Treasure of the Village

When I was pregnant with the Pickle, I did a lot of daydreaming.  I imagined dressing her up in cute clothes, going to the park, making holiday memories, and watching her learn and grow.  Most of my daydreams, however, had a limited cast.  I pictured myself and the P- or just the three of us.  But as she’s gotten older, I’ve realized the importance of including other people (especially trusted adults) in her life.

For example, you can imagine my delight when the Pickle came home from church and Ms. Sarah had taught her to cover her mouth when she coughed.  I was surprised (and maybe a little sad) after her second day in Ms. Teresa’s class when I discovered that she knew-REALLY KNEW-how to sing her ABCs!  I was shocked when after a week with my mom and dad in town she suddenly knew how to draw a sun-with rays and everything.  Along with a myriad of other things she has done that made me think, “Now where did she learn that?!”

It’s true that a part of me is sad that I didn’t think to teach her all of those things, but, then again, a bigger part of me is relieved that I didn’t have to.  That someone else was able to pour into her life.

I’m her mom.  I do a lot.  But I don’t have to do it all.

And neither do you.

“It takes a village to raise a child” is not really a cliché… it’s a reality.  No matter how hard we try, we just can’t do it all.  And thankfully, we don’t have to.  While we moms do wear a lot of hats, there is nothing more comforting than knowing that we are not the only adults responsible for facilitating the growth of our children.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the little sponges that live in your house (or big sponges!), if you feel like you can’t keep up with how quickly they are learning and adapting to their world, don’t be discouraged, and don’t put pressure on yourself to do it all.  Remember that you are not alone!  You are surrounded by other adults who love you and your family, and who can pour love and life into your child when you can’t.

Whether it’s at church, at school, at Grandma’s, through a daycare or Mother’s Day Out, at ballet class, on a sports team, or with a trusted babysitter, your child will learn valuable lessons from other adults.  And that’s a good thing!  Let those adults know how much you appreciate them.  Give them the freedom to teach and guide your child-even if it’s not exactly what you would do.  They will benefit much more from the collective love of a community than from the burned out, frazzled, do-it-all-yourself mom that we sometimes try to be.

Unlock the treasure of the village around you, and be amazed by your children every day.

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Now… would someone like to teach my child how to make her own breakfast?