The day was perfect. Leaves blowing in a cool fall breeze. The bounce house bright and inviting. An array of games and toys scattered over the parking lot.
And oh, the kids!
Kicking leaves. Bouncing until their cheeks were red. Bubble solution coating their fingers, their faces, and the ground.
As we herded them over to the curb for their Fall Festival snack, our director came out with a big box overflowing with bags of popcorn. The children literally shook with excitement as the snack neared.
When suddenly we realized… we had forgotten one small detail.
There she sat – eyes wide, mouth watering, hands reaching. Too young to realize that the very allergy that had kept her body from thriving as an infant was about to ruin her morning. And it was about to deny her the same joy as all of the friends around her.
You see, Eva (name changed) has a milk/dairy allergy. Which means no milk, no cheese, no yogurt, no butter. None. Zip. Zero. No cheeseballs. No goldfish. And no buttered popcorn. Since her adoptive parents had discovered her tiny body’s intolerance and changed her diet, they had seen her grow, fill out, and thrive!
But that didn’t make their daily decisions any easier.
And for us, her teachers, it made it even more challenging to fully include her in the school activities.
This particular day, we had dropped the ball. In the excitement of our Fall Festival we had forgotten to get a bag of plain popcorn. All we had was butter.
And as our director passed over the little girl on the curb, assuring her she would bring her a snack soon, her countenance fell. Her heart smashed into a million pieces. And in her unabashed toddlerness she did not bother to hide her utter disapproval.
I watched as she was given a bag of “approved” snacks (in the same popcorn bag as her friends). She was not amused. It was not the same and she knew it. Her disappointment would not be hidden or abated.
And that was when I, as her teacher, decided that this would never happen again.
That afternoon I took the cheeseballs and goldfish and ritz crackers out of our snack box. The other kids could eat those at home, but as for me and my class, we would eat pretzels and apple jacks and animal crackers. They have never known the difference, and while I personally sneak in a cheeseball now and then, the class has not suffered from only eating dairy-free snacks. We don’t share lunch items. And when I request snacks for parties, I leave out the chocolates, sugar cookies, and yogurt squeezies.
It doesn’t hurt anyone to do this.
Because while I praise God every moment that no food allergies have shown up in my child, I am surrounded by friends and family who do have to deal with them. And have to make changes in their lives as a result. And for whatever reason, more and more children are having to miss out on fun snacks and activities simply because their allergies cannot always be accommodated. But sometimes… they can.
Fast forward several months to a classmate’s birthday.
Prior to the big day, his mom asked if she could bring cupcakes. I said, “sure!” And then out of the corner of my eye I spotted the allergy card posted on the wall. I pointed to the card, “We have a little girl who has a dairy allergy. So just let me know what day you are bringing them and I will have her mom pack a special snack for her.”
And in that moment I learned what selflessness really was.
The mom very simply replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll just buy a dairy free mix!”
Simple as that.
Never mind that it was her allergy-free son’s birthday. Never mind that there were five other kids in the class who did not have any allergies. She was completely willing to accommodate one friend so they could all celebrate together.
Words cannot describe that big day.
We sat down to sing Happy Birthday. The kids saw me lift the lid of the cupcakes and they immediately began squirming with excitement. And my heart simply exploded when my sweet little Eva looked up at me with those big brown eyes – questioning, apprehensive, longing.
“Do I get one of those?” her eyes, and her words, begged.
I beamed and said, “YES!”
The look of sheer delight on her face still brings me to tears.
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Allergies may not affect all of our kids. And it’s true that at times there is not a quick or easy solution to a class party or an allergy-free sleepover. But please, never underestimate the impact that your sensitivity can have on the life, day, or even moment for some of your allergic little friends.
The look on her face is worth any sacrifice that you may have to make!
Reading this almost made me cry! The pure joy she had when she got to have the same as everyone else. Every child just wants to feel included…it’s our human nature. Thanks Jenny for sharing her story!
As a mom that just had her daughter diagnosed with several food allergies, it is nice to know that there are women out there willing to accommodate! Makes my heart happy and hopeful for my little one. Thanks for such a great article!