This morning you watched me get ready for work, as I marched around the room in my bra and panties, trying on outfit after outfit, hair half straightened, looking for something that would make me look presentable at work and pleased with my appearance. Perhaps I seemed frustrated, unsatisfied, and vulnerable. You reached up to touch my doughy stomach, but I didn’t shy away. It was a welcome touch — I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin, like I do. I want you to overflow with confidence, to cherish all of your features — the good and the bad — and that’s why, dear daughter, you will never hear me say “I’m ugly.” You will never see me count my blemishes in the mirror, or for that matter, point them out to the world. It’s an important lesson, to feel completely comfortable in your own skin, and one I intend to pass on to you.
You’re going to hear a lot of girls, a lot of women, who are unhappy with themselves. They will say they are fat, and expect you to chime in with your own insecurities, but I will teach you better than that. How can you be the proud, vibrant individual you are if you are too focused on the size of your jeans or the concealer that doesn’t quite cover? Please, baby girl, don’t ever say “I’m fat” or “I’m ugly” because your insecurities will handicap the rest of the world from seeing the real you.
This morning you watched me apply my make-up. The primer, the foundation, the mascara, and you said, “I want some.” Darling daughter, you are free to use make-up as you get older; I have no room to judge, but know that the truest, most beautiful you is the one on the inside. The world will be too enamored watching the way you carry yourself and your easy, self-approving smile to be focused on the blackheads, red spots or dark circles under your eyes. There is no better tailored outfit in this world than a woman wearing self-confidence, trust me.
You’re going to hear a lot of girls, a lot of women, say that you are pretty, beautiful or even gorgeous. Thank them, but know that it isn’t the limit to all you have to offer. In a broken world so full of insecurities and negative body images, lift up the positive words and compliments, even if they are appearance-based. Even if all they see is your golden hair and steely blue eyes, don’t be afraid to tell them how smart you are or how fiercely you love. Don’t let their own insecurities handicap the rest of the world from seeing the real you.
This morning you watched me look myself up and down in the mirror after several outfit changes, 30 minutes of straightening my hair and 10 minutes of make-up application. You looked past the manicure to see someone’s hand you want to hold, past the size 14 waist to see someone’s hips you want to rest on, past the dark circles and blemishes to someone’s cheek you want to kiss… You see me, calm, pleased and confident, someone who will never say the word “ugly” and will teach you to love the only body you’ll ever have.
